Finding Olivia
by Kelly of the midnight dawn
Summary: Sequel to Goodbye Elliot can't move on. He can barely exist without Olivia. So he embarks on a journey that could endanger both their lives. EO
1. Chapter 1: Skepticism

**Finding Olivia**

**Chapter 1: Skepticism**

**Disclaimer: Not mine. Accept in my dreams. I like to dream.**

Elliot walked into the squad room the next morning and stared at the still empty desk where Olivia used to sit. He missed her so much. He slumped into his own chair and pulled a stack of paperwork towards him. Until Cragen found him a new partner, paperwork would be the extent of his job.

A new partner, the thought made Elliot nauseas. He knew that Olivia wanted him to move on with his life but he didn't want to move on, he wanted her. He didn't want a new partner, there was only one partner for him and he wanted more than anything to know where she was.

He looked up when he heard someone enter the squad room and saw George Huang. George was FBI, Elliot was out of his seat in an instant and grabbed the short man. He pulled George off to the side and into the nearest interview room. The psychiatrist stared at the detective in pure confusion. Elliot opened his mouth "I need to find her," the words came out more desperate and fearful in their tone than he had intended them to.

"What?" George had no idea what Elliot was talking about. Truthfully, maybe he would have been able to figure it out if he hadn't been so shocked by the uncharacteristic tone of Elliot's voice.

"Olivia!" Elliot screamed frantically as if George should have already known. He lowered his voice when he became aware of the silence of the squad room "She went undercover."

"If she's undercover," George began "You aren't supposed to know where she is. That's the whole point of being undercover."

"I just need to know that she's all right," Elliot begged.

"And if you compromise an investigation, you could wind up endangering her life," George told him.

"I know that," Elliot spoke evenly "I want to bring her home and keep her safe,"

"You can't always protect her Elliot," George said as he turned away.

"No," Elliot agreed as George walked off "But I can try."

George turned around and saw the determination in Elliot's eyes. The love that he must have possessed for Olivia had to have been powerful. George shook his head as he questioned the ethical implications of what he was about to do "Come on," he said to Elliot.

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Olivia opened her eyes and rolled out of bed. Her first day as Persephone Free James, the name made her want to laugh. She never would have guessed when she met that air headed woman in the greenhouse that she would become her.

She shook her head and tried to focus. She was Persephone now. As a loyal member of EDG she had come to Oregon to further the cause. She had jumped bail after being arrested in New York. Her boyfriend Mitchell Hissam was still in jail there but he had wanted her to come.

She sighed, she hated this. If she had known that she would be enlisted to go undercover this way, she might have thought twice about going undercover with Haley. She wished that they had gone with Casey's suggestion of an ankle bracelet to keep track of Haley instead. Hell, Haley had murdered but she had only murdered the man who raped her. Olivia probably would have let her go if she hadn't been about to blow up a building.

She walked out the door, feeling completely naked without her gun and feeling completely alone. She wore a wire of course but that didn't make her feel any better. She wished Elliot was with her in this unfamiliar place. She walked to the bus stop and checked the schedule in her hand. Her bus was supposed to come in a matter of minutes.

She sat on the bench and waited. She watched as children with brightly colored backpacks walked to school by themselves. Oregon was much different than New York. She missed the hustle and bustle of the city. She missed watching the over protective parents who watched their children's every move. She missed Elliot.

Damn, she had to stop thinking about him. If she thought too much about him she might say something out loud and blow her cover. She was dangerously close to blowing it now. The bus came and she got on. She sat in a seat by herself and reached into her bag. She pulled out a piece of paper and glanced over the information. She was supposed to meet with a Mr. Derek Moonshower and his wife Natalie at the organic food store to interview for a job.

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Elliot stood face to face with Agent Dana Lewis aka Star Morrison, the woman responsible for taking Olivia away from him "Where is she?" he asked in a venomous tone.

"Elliot," she began "You know I can't tell you that."

"Bullshit!" he spat, he lowered his voice "I'm in the hospital for three days and when I get out, I discover that my partner is gone. Someone owes me some damn answers."

"I don't owe you anything," she replied evenly.

Elliot took a step closer to her, staring her down with a dangerous look in his eyes "What happened to her?" he asked. He had tried never to hit a woman in his life. There had been a few notable exceptions and as he listened to this woman's detached answers, he thought she might become an exception.

"She successfully infiltrated," Star answered "We lost our informant, we needed her."

Elliot felt the anger bubbling up inside him "Where is she?" he asked again.

"I can't tell you that," she told him as she turned to paperwork on her desk.

"You never even gave her a choice did you!" He screamed at the woman in front of him "You tricked her and backed her into a corner!" he took another step so that he was inches from her face "I'll ask you one last time. Where is she?"

Star looked at the fire in the eyes of the man who was standing too close to her for her own comfort "Leave now or I'll get someone to make you."

"I'm not leaving until I know where she is," Elliot responded.

"You'd be doing yourself a favor if you forgot about her," Star told him.

"You cold unfeeling bitch!" Elliot screamed as he launched a fist at her.

Star ducked out of the path of his fist and reached up, capturing his wrist in her hand. She held it so tight that the bone nearly cracked "Forget about her," she repeated before reaching for her phone "You have five minutes to get out of here before I have you arrested."

Elliot yanked his wrist away from her iron grasp and dropped his arm to his side "This isn't over," he said as he left her office "I'm not giving up on her."

Star watched him leave "That's just fine with me detective," she smiled to herself.

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"She's lying," Elliot fought to restrain himself as he walked along the sidewalks of New York with George.

"Of course she is," George responded "She's trying to conduct an investigation and you are threatening to compromise the integrity of that investigation," George was wondering why he had brought Elliot to the federal building in the first place. Getting the hotheaded detective a meeting with Star hadn't gone the way that George had hoped.

"Damn it," Elliot rammed his fist into the side of a building as he leaned against it. His strength had been entirely drained from worrying about Olivia. He couldn't sleep or eat since he had learned that she was gone. Even finding the letter had done little to soothe his fears "I don't care about her damn investigation."

George put a hand on Elliot's shoulder "I know you miss her but this is an important investigation."

"I don't trust her," Elliot said simply.

"Who," George's tone was surprised "Olivia?"

"No," Elliot was quick to clarify "I don't trust Star."

George shook his head. The truth was that he had his doubts about her too but he couldn't let Elliot know that "I'm sure she's looking out for Olivia," the words sounded hollow in his head and he began to see things more from Elliot's prospective.

"Why ask Olivia to go undercover?" Elliot asked "She's not FBI. She's never been undercover for more than a few days at a time."

"From what I understand," George started to impart what little he knew about the situation "Haley Kern attempted to blow up the target that Olivia had gone undercover with her to save," he paused "She was shot but Olivia's undercover identity wasn't compramized."

"Who shot her," Elliot asked softly.

George took a moment before answering "Star. But Elliot-"

"That's how she treats her informants," Elliot clenched his fists.

"The girl was about to blow up a building," George became confrontational.

"Why didn't she shoot to wound?" Elliot asked.

"We're trained to shoot to kill," George answered.

"I don't care what you're trained to do!" Elliot screamed "Unless you are a total moron, you know how to shoot someone and not kill them!"

"Sometimes its not that easy," George said softly as he turned away and started walking again.

"Oh really," Elliot chased after the other man "And I suppose that when Olivia turns up dead that it won't be anyone's fault!"

George spun around "She's not gonna wind up dead," he said with total conviction.

"How can you be sure?" Elliot fired back. When George hesitated Elliot continued "You can't can you?"

"There are no guaranties in life Elliot," George said, turning away again.

"There never have been," Elliot kept pace with George as he spoke "At least when she was here I knew for sure that she was safe. We talked at almost every night," his voice became low as his emotions threatened to spill over "She's my closest friend. I'd never let anything happen to her even…" he trailed off "Even if saving her gets in the way of an investigation."

George nodded. He understood that Elliot's feelings for his partner ran deep but still there wasn't much he could do. If George jeopardized an ongoing investigation, it would be his ass on the line "I'm sorry Elliot," he stepped into the street and hailed a cab to take him back to the station "I can't help you."

In hind sight, George's exit might have been more dramatic if he and Elliot didn't share a cab on the way back to the precinct and George might not have felt so lame if he had had his wallet with him and didn't have to ask Elliot to pay for the cab. George's words echoed in the silent cab for the duration of the ride. Elliot's presence caused George to be able to think of little else other than how he had flat out refused to help his friend. When they reached the station, Elliot stepped out and headed back to his desk to finish his paperwork in silence.

George headed to his office and sat in his chair. After ten minutes of wallowing in his own self loathing, he reached for the phone. He dialed a good friend of his.

"Lockwood," the man on the other end of the phone answered.

"Joe, it's George," George spoke quickly "I need you to do me a favor."

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"It's a pleasure to meet you Ms. James," Derek Moonshower reached his hand out to Olivia.

Olivia shook his hand and smiled "Please, call me… Persephone," she had almost said 'Call me Olivia' damn it she had to be more careful.

Derek smiled at her then turned to some papers that lay on his desk "You have an impressive resume Persephone. I think you might be over qualified to stock shelves in our simple store."

"I like to be hands on," Olivia told him.

"Good," Derek turned to grab a green vest "This is your uniform," he handed the vest to her "When can you start?"

"Right away," she answered, accepting the vest from her new boss.

A woman entered the small office. She was on the skinny side and timid looking her hair was a mousy brown and her eyes were hazel. When she saw Olivia she froze in her tracks and took on the appearance of a deer in headlights. The red flag went up in Olivia's mind. Olivia took a step nearer to the woman and held out her hand "Hi," she smiled warmly.

"Natalie sweetheart," Derek said from behind Olivia "This is Persephone. She's our new stock girl."

"Nice to meet you," Natalie said in a small voice as she took the hand that Olivia offered and shook it just barely. She turned to her husband "Andy called," she told him in the same small voice.

"Natalie, sweetie," Derek said through gritted teeth and made what he thought was a covert gesture in Olivia's direction.

Natalie nodded "I'm sorry," she whispered before leaving the office.

Derek turned back to Olivia as if the incident had never happened "Natalie works out back in the garden," he explained.

Olivia nodded "Is there anything else or can I get to work?" she asked.

"No that's fine," Derek told her "The storerooms are in back. Jeremy can show you the ropes."

"Thanks," Olivia left the office and headed out back to where the storerooms were. When she had reached the appropriately labeled door, she saw a door to her left that was open; it was the door that led to the garden. She took a few steps towards it and peered into the bright sunlight of the day. She could see Natalie bending over a strawberry plant. The other woman's shirt rode up in the back and Olivia could see part of what appeared to be a footprint shaped bruise on her back. Olivia quickly moved back inside the building and leaned against the wall. Just what had she gotten herself into?

**TBC**

**Okay so here it is, the sequel that I promised. It took me a while to think of a plot but I think I might actually have one. Although I say that a lot and my original plot idea sometimes changes. Please review and let me know if you liked it and if you hated it, please review and tell me how to make it better.**


	2. Chapter 2: Dirty

**Finding Olivia**

**Chapter 2: Dirty**

He walked down the hallway in silence. He knew where he was headed; he had been there many times before but never to do something like this. He entered the room looking around for someone who could help him but saw no one. He found this very odd but he continued on into the room anyway. His task would be a difficult one and he would like to do it alone if he could, no onlookers.

There was only one sheet covered figure in the room and he approached it slowly. He wanted to stop, to turn and run away but somehow he couldn't pull himself away from the figure. He stood beside the slab where the lost life lay, covered only in a white sheet. He reached gingerly to pull back the sheet with trembling fingers. He didn't want to know. Slowly the sheet came away, revealing first the hair line of the woman. He felt his stomach churn but he tried to deny what he saw. Just because the woman who lay before him had the same hair color, it didn't mean it was her.

He pulled the sheet further down revealing the eyes. They stared back unseeing at him. Big doe eyes, glazed over with death. Even so, he could see the fear in them. There was no need to pull the sheet any further. He knew it was her. He felt the tears pouring from his eyes and spilling down his cheeks. He wanted more than anything to pull the sheet back up and run from the morgue. His hand wouldn't obey his wishes and the sheet continued to pull away from the face of the woman he loved. Her nose and cheek bones became visible to him. If he had doubted it when he had seen her eyes, he didn't now. God, he didn't want to be here.

The sheet had fallen away far enough that her whole face was exposed and still he continued to reveal the remains of a vessel which had once contained the most beautiful soul he had ever known. Her neck was marked with angry red ligatures. With the hand that didn't hold the sheet, he reached out and touched them, gently as if he could heal her, bring her back to him. He could swear that he felt her flinch beneath his touch but he chalked it up to wishful thinking.

He had seen enough. He tugged on the sheet to cover the body again but it practically wrenched from his hand and continued to roll off the body, guided by some unseen force. He fought to grasp it again "No more," he cried as he tried to cover her. When he realized that he wouldn't be able to pull the sheet back, he tried to turn away but her hand flew out and held him there. He was afraid now and had no choice but to stare at what had become of her body.

Under the sheet, she wore no clothing. Her upper body was a collage of bruises that made him want to vomit. Her lower body showed the obvious signs of sexual assault. He wanted to throw up and tried to pull away but the grasp on his wrist grew tighter "No more, please," he begged as he felt his legs give out from underneath him. He collapsed onto the ground sobbing "No," he whispered.

"Look at me," her voice commanded "Look at what you've done to me."

"No," he repeated "It isn't true, this isn't real."

"Look at what you allowed to happen," she accused "Where were you?"

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"Where were you when I needed you?" her disembodied voice asked as her hand held him in place "Look at what you let happen to me."

"No, no," he stammered through his tears "I would never…"

"You let me die alone," her tone was as ice cold as the fingers that gripped him "You let me die afraid."

"No," He tried to pull away again "I didn't know," he pleaded for her forgiveness "If I had known, I would have…"

"I died alone, in the dark," her voice nearly screamed "I died slowly after they had beaten me and raped me for hours."

"I'm sorry!" he sobbed as he tried to pry the fingers from his arm. Dear God, they were so cold.

"You let this happen," she accused again "Why didn't you come looking for me? Why did you let them kill me?"

"I'm so sorry!" the sobs continued. The hand drew him closer to the cold slab where her body lay and he found himself afraid, truly afraid. He hadn't meant for this to happen. He would have done everything in his power to prevent it if he could.

"They held me down," she continued "In my weakest moments, when I was in so much pain that I didn't know what was real anymore, I cried for you. I called out your name," her tone became bitter "That just made them more aroused to hear me so broken."

"I'm so sorry," he whispered, reaching out to touch the body and trying to pull the sheet over her again. He had no idea why but he had to pull that sheet over her again.

"You let me die!" her voice screamed again and he felt an unseen fist connect with his gut "I trusted you and when I needed you, you weren't there."

"I'm so sorry," was all he could say as he felt the wind knocked out of him again and again.

"I'm dead because of you!" she screamed as he was flung backwards, the cold fingers finally releasing his wrist as he felt invisible fists and feet begin to beat the shit out of him "You let them do this to me! I hate you!"

"I'm so sorry!" he screamed over and over again "Olivia, I'm so sorry!"

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Elliot shot straight up in bed, gasping for breath. He continued to sob. It had been a week since she had gone undercover and he hadn't heard a word about her. Her name wasn't even whispered in the squad room; it was as if they had all forgotten about her. At least that's what Elliot had thought until the third night.

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He had been walking out of the squad room in his ever present gloomy mood when Munch had come up beside him "You wanna go grab a drink?" the older man offered.

Elliot had turned to see John standing there with the most sincere expression on his face. Fin appeared on Elliot's other side "Count me in," he smiled.

"Who invited you?" Munch joked.

"And who's gonna drive your bony ass home when you drink yourself under the table?" Fin asked with a smirk.

Elliot pulled away from his colleagues "I'll pass," he said softly as he pulled open the door.

"Come on man," Fin said gently "We'll have fun."

"I don't feel like having fun," Elliot murmured.

"I know you miss her," Munch stated as he and Fin followed Elliot relentlessly down the sidewalk "We all do but, what would she say if she knew you were moping like this?"

This made Elliot pause at John's words. She didn't want him to mope. He knew that much but he felt like he was betraying her if he didn't "I can't," he quickened his pace to get away from the other two detectives.

"Just because you have a drink with us doesn't mean you're gonna forget her," Fin called out "Having a good time for two hours isn't gonna mean that somehow you're a bad friend."

Elliot turned around "I know that," he told the two men who stood behind him "I just don't feel like it, okay," he turned and finally reached his car.

"I'm getting real sick of your attitude," John spat "You think you are the only one who has a void in their life ever since Olivia left."

Elliot stepped back out of his car "I'm the only one who cares."

"That's complete bull and you know it," John told him "She was our friend too. We all miss her."

Elliot walked up to his two friends. He stared at them for a long time before he said "One drink and then I really have to go home."

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Elliot was snapped from the memory by the shrill ringing of the cordless phone that sat on his nightstand. He reached for it, wondering who would call his house phone at this hour. If it was work related, the person would normally call his cell. For a moment the hope flickered in his heart that it was Olivia. Still he answered in his professional manner "Stabler."

"Elliot," the spark of hope died upon hearing George's voice "You need to get over here right away. We have something we need to talk about."

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Olivia rubbed her eyes. It was 2:00am and she had gotten stuck at the store doing the books. Normally it would have been Jeremy's job but he had a family emergency and had to leave early so she promised to cover for him.

She had been working at the store for about a week and had found no useful information about EDG. She missed Elliot practically every waking second of every day and when she wasn't awake, she dreamed about him. Sometimes the dreams were good, sometimes they were horrifying nightmares of what could happen to him if a rookie was watching his back on the job.

She heard the office door open and looked up to see her boss, Derek Moonshower enter. He regarded her with a puzzled look for a few seconds before speaking "Persephone," he said surprised "What are you doing here so late?"

"Just doing the books," she answered. She couldn't help feeling a little nervous that she was alone in a room with this man.

Ever since her first day, she had been trying to get the chance to talk to Natalie Moonshower about the bruise that Olivia had seen but the other woman avoided Olivia like the plague. Still Olivia had found it hard not to miss the way that Natalie always seemed to shrink into the background whenever Derek entered a room. This and other such nervous behaviors of Natalie's led Olivia to believe that Natalie was being abused and that her husband, Derek, was the abuser.

"That's Jeremy's job," Derek told her as he took a step closer to where she sat.

"He had a family emergency," Olivia answered, feeling more unsettled the closer Derek moved towards her "I said I'd cover for him."

"You're a good girl," Derek told her as he placed his hands on her shoulders and began to massage them gently.

Olivia pulled away quickly from his touch "I think I should go home now," she said as a way of excusing herself from this awkward and potentially dangerous situation. She stood up and headed for the office door.

Derek blocked her path and leaned in. Olivia could smell alcohol on his breath as he spoke to her "Let me walk you home," he offered.

"No thanks," she said quickly, backing away from him and managing to open the office door "I'll take a bus."

"The busses don't run this late," Derek smiled at her. There was something unsettling in his smile "Let me walk you home. Pretty women aren't safe on these streets so late at night."

_Not with you around they aren't _"I'll be fine," she reassured him.

"I'd feel better if I made sure you got home safely," he leaned in close to her.

_I'd feel better if you didn't _"No, it's fine," she was at the front entrance to the store when he grabbed her.

"Persephone," he let the word out slowly as if he was cherishing the taste of it "Don't be like that. Let me walk you home."

"Mr. Moonshower," Olivia began as she pulled away "I told you, I'm fine," her tone was firm. She finally managed to escape his hold on her and she began the long walk back to her place.

There weren't a lot of street lamps but the moon and stars were bright. Olivia would have almost enjoyed the late night walk home in the peaceful Oregon town if it hadn't been for her encounter with Derek Moonshower just before she had left the store. She made her way through the quiet streets, her steps echoing hollowly in the silence that at times seemed almost eerie when she thought of New York.

Finally she reached her street and eventually the door of her own building. A rather bright street light lit up the entrance and revealed who else but Derek Moonshower leaning against the building to the left of the door. It was obvious that he was trying to blend into the shadows.

Olivia took out her keys, wishing more than ever that she had her gun with her but it was upstairs in the drawer of her nightstand. It had taken a lot of arguing on her part to even get Star to concede to letting her have a gun at all. She didn't have a cell phone either. Olivia remained under the street light as she spoke "What are you doing here?"

Derek smiled and took a wavering step towards her. Olivia wondered if he had had more to drink since she had last scene him "Just wanted to make sure you got home safely my dear," he reached out to her with both arms and pulled her into an awkward hug.

"Okay," Olivia managed to remove his hands from her "I'm home, so you can leave now."

Derek put a finger to her lips "You can stop playing this little game of yours dearest," he smiled.

Olivia backed away from him "What game?" she asked. She didn't want to blow her cover by going super cop on his ass but he was quickly forcing her hand in that direction.

Derek pinned her to the side of the building and Olivia realized that going super cop on his ass would do her little good. This guy was way too strong for her. He brought his lips close to hers "Stop pretending you aren't attracted to me."

Olivia wanted to laugh. She wasn't attracted to this guy. She found the very thought of him repulsive "I'm not," she told him as she attempted to duck out from under his grasp.

"Come on Persephone," Derek smiled as he kissed her "Why don't you show me your place," he wasn't asking her, he was telling her.

Olivia tried to fight him off as he moved with her to the door of her building. He was going to take her up to her apartment… her apartment… her gun. She willingly opened the door and walked inside with her boss who the whole time kept an iron grip on her waist.

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"You brought me here to look at a bunch of bank statements?" Elliot asked incredulously. Truthfully, he was glad for the excuse to be pulled away from his bed after the nightmare he had had but he didn't understand what the significance of these statements was.

"Someone's been paying her off!" George waved the pieces of paper around in the air like a mad man "She's a dirty agent!"

**TBC**

**A/N: Interesting cut off I know but review and I'll see what I can do about updating quicker.**


	3. Chapter 3: Answers

**Finding Olivia**

**Chapter 3: Answers**

Elliot reached out and took the papers from George's wildly flailing hands. He looked over the information once, twice, a third time. What he saw troubled him. He looked back up at George "Where did you get these?"

"I know someone," George answered, still talking at lightning speed and gesturing all about the room. He knew his explanation had been short but it would have to do. George knew that he was putting his own career on the line for this and he didn't want to drag Joe Lockwood down with him. He had promised Lockwood that he wouldn't mention his name to anyone.

Elliot shook his head at George's pithy explanation and pulled his coat on once again "Let's see if we can get some answers out of her this time."

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Olivia felt herself being forced against the wall of the first landing of the staircase. In her mind she was already thinking of how she would get to the gun once they were inside her apartment. It was a risky plan but it was the only one she had. Blowing her cover was now the furthest thing from her mind as Derek pressed her hard against the wall and turned her to face him. She glared at him as he kissed her again, running a hand through her hair as he attempted to part her lips with his tongue. She wanted him to stop, so she did the only thing she could do and bit his lower lip "Take that," she mumbled as the pain caused him to involuntarily take a step backwards which gave her an opportunity to escape.

Derek grabbed her again and threw her to the floor, pinning her there with his full weight "I don't think I can wait until we get to your apartment," he told her as his hands found the button of her jeans.

"Stop it," Olivia commanded in a shaky voice as she rolled from side to side, trying to get out from underneath him.

Derek chuckled as he moved her jeans past the curves of her hips. He was certainly going to enjoy this one. He liked it better when they fought back. Natalie had stopped fighting after a while which had driven him to seek other methods of release. Of course when he was done, he would always come back to Natalie and whether she fought or not, he would enjoy her.

Olivia only fought back harder, unaware of the fact that it only pleased Derek all the more that she was doing so. She had to get away from him. She put everything she had into a punch that landed somewhere near his ribs. The stairway was dark however and she couldn't be sure. The blow had little effect and Derek started to remove her panties.

"Persephone?" a voice from the top of the stairs called.

Derek stopped instantly and got off of Olivia, hauling her to her feet and holding her so that anyone looking from the top of the stairs wouldn't be able to tell that she was being forced to stand in that spot. His hands were around her waist but Olivia's hands were free and she quickly pulled her pants back up. She looked up the stairs to see who it was who had momentarily saved her. At first she saw no one "Yeah?" she answered, trying to hide the fear in her voice.

A man in his mid twenties came into view "Oh there you are," he smiled at seeing her. The look on his face grew more serious when he saw Derek and how the woman he knew as Persephone, looked incredibly uneasy "Is something wrong?" he asked as he walked down to the landing.

"Tell him anything and I'll snap his neck," Derek whispered into Olivia's ear before the other man had reached them. Derek was completely ready to do what he said but he also didn't want to commit murder if he didn't have to. If he could ensure this woman's silence, he could always come back for her later.

Olivia nodded, knowing that Derek would indeed kill her young neighbor and friend Fletcher Kline if he needed to. The younger man finally reached the place where the two other people stood and extended his hand to the visibly shaken woman in front of him. Olivia took his hand and allowed herself to be drawn away from Derek and to the stairs "Nothing's wrong Fletcher," she lied as she watched Derek the entire time "This is my boss Derek Moonshower. He was just walking me home."

Fletcher seemed to accept her explanation although he made sure to keep himself between her and Derek "Goodnight Mr. Moonshower," he said with an edge of distrust in his voice. Derek nodded and retreated down the stairs.

Olivia waited until she heard the door of the building open and close before she spoke "Thanks Fletch," she sighed, climbing the stairs, more than eager to get inside her apartment and lock the door. She was sleeping with her gun under her pillow that night.

"No problem," Fletcher said reassuringly as he followed her "So, that guy's your boss?"

Olivia nodded "Yeah, he owns the store where I work."

"I'd hate to be you," Fletcher said half to himself.

Olivia almost agreed with him out loud. She hated being Persephone, she hated her boss and she hated not being able to talk to Elliot whenever she wanted like she used to be able to do. What came out of her mouth however was "So what are you still doing up at this hour?" she was eternally grateful that he was awake but still she was curious as to why. She reached her apartment and turned the key in the door as she listened to Fletcher's answer.

"Well," he began a bit nervously "I came looking for you at around 10:00 and you weren't home so I figured you were still working and I decided to wait for you," he pointed to a patch of floor beside her apartment door "I guess I…" he trailed off and chuckled slightly in the way that one does when one is calling one's self an idiot in one's own mind "I must have dozed off," he admitted "When I woke up, I thought I heard what sounded like a struggle and you telling someone to 'Stop it,'. I guess I was wrong," he took a cautious step inside the apartment, aware that he hadn't been invited "Please tell me I was wrong."

Olivia looked at the skinny twenty four year old who looked like he was more comfortable around computers than people and in fact Olivia knew this to be true. He looked so concerned that it almost made her laugh and cry at the same time. She'd seen that expression on Elliot hundreds of times before. She wondered for a moment whether she should tell Fletcher the truth but she couldn't stand the thought of Derek hurting this innocent kid and he was really still a kid. Fletcher was so scrawny that Olivia found it hard not to wonder why Derek hadn't just continued what he was doing and ignored Fletcher completely. If Olivia hadn't been able to fight Derek off then there was no way that Fletcher stood a ghost of a chance. She turned to her pictureless walls, refusing to meet his gaze "I guess you were," she said softly. She reached for the door without turning around "Goodnight."

Fletcher had managed to move back into the hallway before his friend closed the door. He stared at the door for a long time, listening to the slight rustlings of her moving around in the safety of her own territory. He wanted to believe her but the way she had acted, the look on that Derek guy's face, something wasn't right. He was worried about her.

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"What the hell are you doing here?" Star opened the door of her apartment to see one very pissed off detective and one very frazzled looking psychiatrist/FBI agent.

Elliot attempted to push past Star "I'm here for the truth," he told her.

Star shoved him back out the door "Leave me alone," she spat at him "I don't remember inviting you in."

"Either you invite us in," George spoke evenly, having regained his professional demeanor on the drive over "Or we start a scene in your hallway."

Star looked at one man and then the other, sizing them up. After a few seconds, she stepped away from the door and in the most forced sounding polite voice she smiled and said "Won't you please come in."

"Thank you," Elliot mumbled unceremoniously.

"Now," said Star as she closed the door behind the two unwelcome visitors "What can I do for you so early in the morning?"

Elliot thrust the damning papers into Star's hands "Who's buying you off?" he asked without beating around the bush.

Star looked at the papers in her hands. She turned a ghostly color before regaining her composure "I have know idea what you're talking about," she ripped the papers in half and let them fall to the floor.

"Too bad for you that those were just copies," George told her "The police already have this information. You're days as a free woman are numbered."

"What do you want?" Star asked.

"Where, is, Olivia," Elliot's tone was low and dangerous. He was going to get an answer out of her this time.

"She infiltrated EDG," Star explained "I can't tell you anything more than that. If her identity is compromised then we'll never get the information we need to arrest the higher ups."

George stepped forward, withdrawing a newspaper clipping from his jacket pocket "You mean these higher ups?" he asked, showing Star the article. The headline read 'FBI Busts Eco Terrorist Group Wide Open' there was a full color picture of several men being led away in handcuffs.

"You got your higher ups three days after Olivia went undercover," Elliot said angrily "There isn't any mention of a woman in this article so I can only assume that she wasn't there. So where is she?"

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Olivia checked the deadbolt on her apartment door for the twelfth time before moving to check the locks on the two windows. When she was satisfied that they were secure, she returned to sit on her bed. She looked at her alarm clock; it was 3:30am. She considered calling Star. It was after all 6:30 in New York. She had to let Star know that her that she was in trouble. What she wouldn't give to have Elliot with her at that moment. She reached for the phone and dialed.

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"I have to get that," Star told the two men who were interrogating her when she heard the phone start to ring.

Elliot grabbed the cell phone from her hands and looked at the caller ID. Lucky for him, Star had programmed it so that the name Olivia Benson flashed across the screen "Its her," he whispered.

"Hey," Star protested "Give that back," she reached for the phone but Elliot kept it out of her grasp.

"Let's give them some privacy, shall we," George said as he pulled Star into her home office.

Elliot flipped the phone open and in an eager tone that was absolutely brimming with relief he spoke one simple word "Liv."

Olivia paused before speaking. She was certain that she had dialed Star's number. Still it was just so good to hear his voice that she didn't care "Elliot?" she asked timidly "Is that really you?"

"I think so," Elliot answered. Truthfully, things had moved so fast in the past few seconds that he couldn't be certain "Is it you?"

Olivia smiled softly "Yeah, it's me."

"Thank God," Elliot whispered. The relief washed over him but soon he remembered that it was far from over "Olivia, listen to me. Star lied to you."

"What?" Olivia asked confused.

"I'm not exactly sure but she got ten thousand dollars transferred to her bank account the day that I was in that explosion and another ten thousand the day that you left to go undercover."

Olivia tried to process the new information "I'm supposed to be infiltrating EDG," she told him.

"They arrested the higher ups in EDG four days ago Liv," Elliot explained "She's been playing us for suckers."

"Does this mean I can come home?" she asked hopefully. She wanted nothing more at that moment than to see Elliot again.

"I think so," Elliot answered even though he wasn't completely positive.

"Oh thank God," Olivia sighed "It'll be so good to get away from that…" she trailed off.

"Liv," Elliot caught the change in her attitude "Are you all right?"

Olivia's defenses had been completely worn away with all that she had found out in the last few minutes and she had no choice but to answer honestly "No," she whispered "This guy… my boss at the store where I work... he… tonight he… he tried to…"

"Oh, Liv," Elliot wished that he was beside her at that moment to wrap her in his arms. He wanted to find this boss of hers and kick his ass as well "Do you want me to come out there and get you?" he asked "I can help you pack."

"I don't have much I want to bring back with me," she told him. She would love it if he came to get her but she was a big girl and didn't need him to hold her hand or maybe she did.

"Liv, its no trouble," he wanted to go to her, to protect her from this guy. Who ever he was, if he had tried once, he probably wasn't gonna give up "I can be there tomorrow night. What's your address?"

She gave it to him and also managed to give him a rehashing of the night's events. Although she tried to sound tough on the outside, like she didn't need him, the truth was that she really was glad that he had offered.

"Okay," Elliot told her when she had finished "I'll be there as soon as I can… and Liv?" he was having a hard time containing the anger that he felt to this man who had tried to hurt her.

"Yeah?" she asked.

"Please don't leave the apartment until I get there," he almost begged.

"Elliot," she began but she had to admit she almost agreed with him.

"Olivia," he countered "I want to know that you're safe. This guy sounds like trouble."

"Yeah," Olivia agreed "But if I don't show up for work tomorrow."

"Work," Elliot took a deep breath "Olivia that's where this guy is."

"I know but I'll make sure I'm never alone with him," she promised "If I don't show up, he'll get suspicious. Plus, I think he was drunk tonight," she wondered why she was making excuses for Derek.

"All right," Elliot reluctantly conceded "But don't stay any later than you need to. Get home while it's still light out and I should be there by then."

"I promise," Olivia smiled.

Elliot didn't want to hang up from Olivia but he had other things to worry about before he left for Oregon "I'll be there as fast as I possibly can," he promised her.

"I know," she reassured him "And thanks."

"I have to go," Elliot excused himself reluctantly.

"Okay," Olivia nodded "Goodbye."

"Goodbye," Elliot flipped the phone closed before whispering "I love you."

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Olivia listened until she heard the click on the other end of the line before she whispered "I love you."

She stood up from the bed, opening the top drawer of her nightstand and pulling out her gun. She held it at the ready as she sat cross legged on her bed, her back to the wall and her gaze encompassing the door and both windows. She was on edge and had every right to be. Elliot would be there tomorrow but that didn't mean she was safe tonight. Hell, it didn't even mean that she was safe when he got there.

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Elliot turned to the door of the room that George had taken Star into. He hadn't heard any noise from there in some time, not that he had really been paying attention. He pushed the door open and let out an audible gasp.

George was lying unconscious on the floor and the window was open. Elliot ran to the window and looked down the fire escape. There was no sign of anyone. He turned back to see George picking himself off the floor.

"She caught me off guard," George said as way of apology.

Elliot dropped Star's phone on the nearby desk and whipped out his own "We'll get her," he whispered. This new development only made him more worried. How much of his conversation with Olivia had Star managed to hear before she'd left? For all Elliot knew, Star could be on her way to warn her anonymous benefactor. His hands shook as he informed Cragen of their problem. He knew now that he had to get to Olivia. He had no doubt that she was in even more danger than either of them had previously thought.

**TBC**


	4. Chapter 4: In Deep

**Finding Olivia**

**Chapter 4: In Deep**

"You let her get away!" Cragen screamed at George.

"She jumped me with a lamp," George answered as a paramedic checked him out.

"Captain," Elliot attempted to get Cragen's attention.

Cragen turned to Elliot "What is it?" he was still pissed at this situation. Star had played him for a fool as well. After all he had had to sign off on Olivia's undercover assignment and take care of all the arrangements involving her apartment and personal possessions. It was almost as if Cragen himself had signed Olivia's death certificate. He hated himself.

Elliot held out a very worn looking three ring binder "Look at this."

Cragen took it and began to flip through the pages. The first thing he came across was a newspaper article. He read the caption out loud "FBI agent gone missing," the article was not accompanied by any photo. Cragen continued to read the article "On Saturday, in full view of a dozen witnesses and her partner, agent," he paused and looked up "This is unreal," he whispered.

"Tell me about it," Elliot muttered.

Cragen continued to read "Dana Lewis was abducted. The missing agent and her partner were investigating an underground pornography ring…" he flipped the page, unable to read any further and then wished he hadn't "Is that her?" he asked Elliot.

"Yeah," Elliot nodded.

"Why would she keep something like this?" Cragen asked as he turned the page to find yet more pictures "Whoever did this to her was a real sadist."

Elliot nodded "It's a scrap book of hell," he pointed to the binder.

Cragen finally found another newspaper clipping "Agent found near death," he read the caption. He held the binder out to Elliot, not wanting to have anything to do with it anymore.

Elliot took it from his captain and scanned the article "It says she claimed to have retrograde amnesia and that she had no memory of the eleven months that she was missing," Elliot looked at his watch and turned to the captain apologetically "I've got to get going if I'm gonna make my flight."

"We'll finish up here," Cragen assured him "You just go and bring Olivia home safe." Elliot nodded and was out of the apartment in a flash. Cragen watched him go and turned back to the binder "Good luck."

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Olivia watched as the sky lightened outside the windows of her apartment. She hadn't slept at all, she hadn't wanted to. She took one quick glance at the alarm clock and noticed that it was probably a good time for her to start getting ready for work.

She stared at her reflection in the mirror over the sink in her tiny bathroom. All she could think about was the events of the previous night. She would have been in a lot more trouble if Fletcher hadn't shown up when he did. She knew she was strong but Derek was so much stronger and she hadn't been able to get into a position where she could hit him in a weak spot.

When he had been on top of her, everything she knew about rapists and victims had flown completely out the window. She had fought back, using any and every move she could think of, no matter how futile the result. She knew that fighting back was probably what he wanted her to do but seriously, what other choice would there have been? She was not about to let herself willingly become a victim of Derek Moonshower.

She finished touching up her makeup and walked back into the main room of her apartment. Hers, this pathetic studio apartment was hers but thankfully, not for much longer. She would be going home, home to New York, back to her old job, back to Elliot. She wouldn't need to be Persephone anymore, she could cut all ties to that name forever. She never thought she would be as grateful as she was to be Olivia Benson again. Plain old Olivia Benson, the product of a rape. It was a horrible story but the story was hers to tell.

She grabbed a granola bar from the cabinet to the left of the stove and tore open the wrapping. As she chewed her breakfast, she thought about what Elliot had told her. Star had played them and gotten paid for it. Who could possibly do this? She tried to put the thought out of her head that Star had a specific reason for sending her to this town. After all, EDG members were in Oregon, just in a different part of the state probably. But Olivia couldn't shake the thought that Star had a reason for choosing this place, for setting her up to work at Derek Moonshower's store.

She had to admit that Moonshower made her extremely nervous. She had almost agreed with Elliot and hid in her apartment all day. It would have been a simple matter to call in sick and simply wait for Elliot. But she couldn't back down from this. She shoved her gun into the inner pocket of her jacket as insurance. Insurance that she hoped she wouldn't need to use.

Luckily the weather report had said that the temperature would be in the low fifties so it seemed perfectly reasonable for her to be wearing the bulky coat. She gave herself a final once over in the bathroom mirror, ensuring that the gun couldn't be easily seen. Satisfied, she headed out of her apartment only to run into Fletcher. And she quite literally ran into him. In her haste, she didn't see him standing in the hall and she knocked him over on her way to the stairs. She looked down embarrassed "Oh, Fletcher, I'm so sorry," she reached a hand down to help him up.

"Good morning to you to," he smiled as he dusted himself off "In a hurry?" he asked.

"I have to get to work," she answered.

Her answer caused the smile to disappear from his face "Persephone," he began in a concerned tone that Olivia knew all too well.

"I'm fine," she dismissed him almost effortlessly "I'll stay clear of him."

"You should stay home today," _Maybe for the rest of your life, you have no idea how dangerous this guy is_ "Can't you call in sick or something?" he asked.

"I've only been working there for a week," she explained her cover story logic "If I take a sick day, I won't get paid." _And he'll come looking for me, I know he will._

Fletcher whipped out his wallet "How much do you make in a day?" he asked as he began to count out bills. _You have no idea what you're getting yourself into. I don't want to see you get hurt before we have enough to arrest this guy._

_Why are you offering me money to stay home?_ "No, no, don't do that Fletcher," Olivia waved the money away "I'm telling you, I'll be fine." She pushed past him as gently as she could "See ya later," she called back.

Fletcher watched her go. _I hope you're right. I really do._ He headed back into his apartment and picked up the phone. He dialed a familiar number. When the person on the other end answered, he didn't even bother to introduce himself before he blurted out "We have to move on this now or there'll be another one!"

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Elliot settled into his seat in the airplane. He leaned back and closed his eyes as the flight attendant went over the safety preflight safety stuff that he knew already. He sighed, he was going to bring Olivia home and when he did, he would never let her out of his sight again.

The captain's voice came over the speakers and filled the cabin. Something about the altitude that they would be flying at, Elliot really didn't care. All he could think about was getting to Olivia. Someone had attacked her and tried to… he didn't want to think about it. And she had said that she was going to work that day, back to the same place where that man, her boss, worked.

On top of all of this, Elliot couldn't get Star out of his mind. She'd received a payment the day that he'd been injured in that explosion. Was he supposed to have died? Was Star hired to get rid of them? Who would want to go to such lengths to get rid of two people? Had he and Olivia pissed someone off that much?

Elliot could think of a few people who had either Olivia or himself on their shit lists. People they had put in jail, definitely. Elliot remembered a few perps who had had it out for Olivia but he couldn't think of anyone who was out of jail or alive. Could it be an angry family member? There were certainly enough of them. Family members of perps, of victims, either cases that had never been solved or people whose loved ones had been killed in jail or… He could remember someone that Olivia had put away who had been innocent, that is until he got out and set his sites on her. But Eric Plummer was dead, Olivia had shot him and he had no family that Elliot knew of.

"Excuse me sir?" Elliot was shaken from his train of thought by a flight attendant who stood beside him "Would you like something to drink?" she asked.

"Umm," it took Elliot a few moments to readjust to reality and grasp what was going on around him "No thank you," the flight attendant nodded and moved on.

He returned to his thoughts. He wasn't thirsty, he wasn't hungry, he couldn't think of anything other than Olivia and whatever danger that the two of them might be in. Another thought occurred to him as the small talk of surrounding passengers threatened to invade his mind. They'd pissed off drug cartels once or twice. But if a cartel wanted them dead Elliot was sure that they'd do something more straightforward than sending Olivia to the other side of the country.

He sighed, all this thinking was getting him nowhere. He wished he had Olivia with him to bounce ideas off of. He did his best thinking when they bounced their theories back and forth between one another. But there was nothing else to do on this long flight but think about the events that had led to this point.

He had tried to push her away when Kathy left. He had felt like a failure and it had been hard to ignore the fact that he sat across from a completely passionate, kind, accepting and dare he admit to himself gorgeous woman. He had pushed her away because at the time, it had been too soon to admit to himself what he had probably always known.

She had always come back, no matter how hard he pushed. That is until Victor Gitano. His feelings for her had been pushed to far to the surface to fast, even faster and more forcefully than when Kathy had left. And how had he dealt with the realizations that threatened to drown him? He had lashed out at her, told her that he needed to know that she could do her job. What kind of crap line was that? He knew she could do her job. She was one of the best cops, if not the best that he knew. The problem was that this didn't stop him from worrying about her.

And then in the warehouse, when Gitano had held that gun to his head, he had tried to apologize to her but the words came out all wrong. The way it sounded when he replayed it in his head, it sounded almost as if he regretted choosing her. She said she would have done the same thing and he knew she would have. God, she was too good for him.

He had told George that she made him turn away. She never made him do anything. He was always the one who dragged her into situations that might endanger her job. He was always the one doing the stupid risky things. She was the brains and the beauty of the outfit. He knew that if he spent the rest of his life apologizing to her, that it wouldn't be enough.

He made a solemn vow on that plane ride. He would spend the rest of his life loving her the way she deserved to be loved. He would try and repay the kindness that she'd shown him while he'd been too lost in his own self pitying crap to notice. He wondered why she had even put up with him for so long. There had been a time of course, before Kathy left, that he had reciprocated the kindness, when he had been there in those times that she needed a shoulder to cry on. But when Kathy left he started to push her away and she came back because, Elliot realized, she'd known nothing better in her life. This just made him hate himself all the more.

He went over in his mind all the things that he had to apologize for. In the midst of making his mental list, a horrible thought flashed through his mind, sending chills through his body. _God, please let her be okay when I get there. Please don't let it be too late._

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"Hi Persephone," Jeremy looked up from the table in the middle of the store room where the checklist for inventory lay "How are you doing? Sorry that I had to ditch you last night."

"No problem," Olivia lied "How's your wife doing?"

"Much better thanks," Jeremy answered before getting back to the inventory "Wanna give me a hand here?" he asked.

"Sure," Olivia took her place beside him and helped him check off the things they still had in stock and make a list of the things they were out of.

"Persephone can I talk to you for a second," Olivia looked up to see Derek Moonshower standing in the door of the store room. She subconsciously patted her jacket, which she still wore, to make sure that the gun was still there.

"Sorry boss," she tried not to make eye contact with him "Gotta finish the inventory."

"I can handle it for a few minutes," Jeremy smiled up at her.

_Thanks Jeremy_ "Okay, if you're sure," Olivia looked at Jeremy pleadingly but the man simply didn't understand.

Derek motioned to Olivia and stepped aside from the door to let her pass "We can talk in my office," he told her.

For a moment, Olivia considered bolting. She wondered if she could make it all the way back to her apartment building before Derek caught up with her. Then again, he had beaten her there the night before and could probably do so again. During the day, there was no guarantee that anyone would be at the building and she would rather have a confrontation with Derek at the store where she knew there were other people around.

They stepped inside the office and Olivia could hear the distinct sound of Derek locking the door. She felt her heart jump into her throat and she reached inside her jacket, grasping her gun but not bringing it out into plain site, not just yet anyway.

Derek looked at the woman in front of him. He had made a mistake getting drunk last night and trying to do her in that stairwell. He had forgotten the plan; they hadn't even had time to come up with a good plan. He was surprised that she had actually showed up today. He expected her to call in sick and force them to come get her. But this just made his job a bit easier. He crossed the room to her in less than three strides. She looked nervous, perfect. Her hand was in her jacket. He wondered about this, considered whether it was a threat and then there it was, a gun. He put his hands up in surrender "Its okay Persephone," he said in a carefully practiced tone meant to lull his prey into a false sense of security; make them think that they had control over the situation "I'm glad you came in today. It gives us a chance to talk things out. You can put the gun down. I won't hurt you," he was lying.

Olivia didn't lower the gun, she didn't trust this man. She tried to quiet the tremor in her hands "We have nothing to talk about," she said as evenly as she could.

Derek looked over her shoulder for a minute and was reassured. He kept his hands in the air "Did you come here today to kill me?" he asked still in the role of nervous hostage "I can explain," he pleaded "I was drunk, I wasn't thinking right."

"Why did you lock the door?" Olivia couldn't help how her voice became choked back with fear. She could just pull the trigger, pull the trigger and be done with it but somehow she couldn't bring herself to take this man's life.

Derek tried not to grin as the moment drew near. His mouth opened to begin answering her question but there was no longer any need. Andy and Jack had grabbed her from behind, Rickie had grabbed the gun, whatever threat that she might have posed was nutrilized.

Olivia bit the hand of one of the men as he tried to cover her mouth. That little maneuver got her a slap across the face from that same hand. She fought back the cry of pain that threatened to burst through her lips "Let me go!" she shouted as she fought the men who held her.

"Shut her up," Derek hissed "I've got to go cover for her sudden disappearance," he left the room.

"You're a feisty one aren't you?" Jack said as he managed to shove a sponge into her mouth.

Olivia spit the sponge back out at him "Go to hell."

"She's gonna be difficult," Rickie smiled. He had been standing on the sidelines until this moment but he stepped forward, laying the gun that he had nabbed from their captive on a bookshelf on the far side of the room "Let me have a go at her."

Jack and Andy laughed "If the two of us couldn't do it," Andy began but was cut short when Rickie had pinned their target to the floor and had successfully gagged her.

"Get the door," Rickie told the two others.

Jack was the quickest to run to the back of the office and open the door to the basement. Rickie hauled Olivia to her feet and shoved her towards the door. She found herself being plunged into the darkness. Her feet couldn't find the steps fast enough and she landed hard at the bottom of the stairs.

"We'll be back later sweetie," the men taunted from the top of the stairs as Olivia heard the door slam closed and the click of the lock.

She reached her hand up and undid the gag. She pulled the filthy sponge from her mouth. Damn, she should have listened to Elliot, she should have listened to Fletcher. She stood up as her eyes began to adjust to the darkness. Going back up the stairs was not an option; the door was locked and more than likely those men would be right on the other side.

She felt her way around the basement, looking for another way out. She couldn't even find a window. The light in the room came from one corner of the room. As she drew closer she thought she could make it out but she wasn't sure. She reached a hand out and found, video equipment, high tech video equipment and it was recording her, although she was reassured that it probably wasn't picking up much of a picture in the dark.

She continued to walk around the basement, searching for anything that she could use to defend herself but found nothing. Her knee bumped into a piece of furniture. Upon further inspection, she discovered that it was a bed. It had no sheets or blankets, just a bare mattress. Since she couldn't find anything to defend herself, the next best thing was to hide. She bent to crawl under the bed but found that the space was already occupied with chains and handcuffs and other implements of torture "Dear God," she muttered. She was in over her head here. She scooted up against the nearest wall and drew her knees up to her chest. Her best hope now was that someone would find her soon.

**TBC**

**A/N: Okay this is bad isn't it? I'm in trouble with the cliff hanger police now aren't I? I'll update sooner if I get a whole bunch of reviews. They fuel my aching fingers.**


	5. Chapter 5: Broken

**Finding Olivia**

**Chapter 5: Broken**

"Ladies and gentlemen," the captain's voice sounded through the cabin "Welcome to Portland Oregon. The local time is 5:30pm. The weather is sunny and the temperature is 52 degrees. Enjoy your stay and thanks for flying with us."

Elliot got off the plane with the rest of the passengers. He had only brought a carry on bag with him so there was no need to make a trip to baggage claim. He headed straight for the rental car counter and pulled out his wallet. Within minutes he was on the road in a silver Crown Victoria. It was apparently the only model of car that they had left but he didn't care.

He looked at the map that he had picked up at the desk. It would be a good two and a half hours before he got to the town where Olivia was. He only hoped that she would be back at her apartment by then. He couldn't shake the feeling deep in the pit of his stomach, that something was terribly wrong.

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Fletcher paced his small apartment, holding the phone to his ear "What do you mean there isn't enough evidence to arrest him!"

"He's not the only one we're looking at for this," the voice on the other end answered.

"It has to be him!" Fletcher said angrily "If I can't go there and arrest him, than at least let me report him to the police for attempted rape."

"If you do that," his boss advised "He could get spooked off and if he is our guy, then we might never get him."

"So I'm just supposed to do nothing!" Fletcher was incredulous "Say he is our guy, then you're saying that I should just sit on my ass and twiddle my thumbs while he tortures another woman for his own sick pleasure and profit! I'm reporting you to the head office."

"We're getting close," his boss reassured him "In a few more months-"

"In a few more months we'll have another dead body!" Fletcher screamed.

"When I say a few more months, I'm talking three or four," his boss said "We know that this guy uses his victims for at least ten months. If she's lucky, she'll last a year."

"If she's lucky!" Fletcher snorted "Just what do you call lucky about being raped and tortured for months on end for some sadistic pornography ring?"

His boss paused "I didn't mean it like that, I mean that the longer she can stay alive, the better."

"Have you seen the same tapes I have?" Fletcher asked, feeling the rage boiling over. He wished he had gone into a different line of work "The things he and his associates do to those women, she'll wish she was dead. If we get her out while she's still alive, her life will never be normal again!"

"You've been working too hard," his boss suggested "Maybe you should relax and take a few days off. Go back to visit your family."

"I can't do that!" Fletcher screamed "I know he's made his move! Didn't you say that we'd wait for him to make the first move and then we'd arrest him?"

"You know what this woman looks like, right?" Fletcher's boss asked.

"Yeah," Fletcher answered. He had a feeling he knew what his boss was gonna suggest and he really didn't want to explore that option.

"Wait until the next tape surfaces and if its her, then we'll move in."

"What!" Fletcher had been expecting this suggestion but nonetheless, hearing it out loud made him want to strangle his boss "There is no way that I'm gonna wait to see if my next door neighbor shows up on some sadist porno torture tape!"

"I'm sorry," his boss told him "But I don't see any other option."

Fletcher heard a click on the other end of the line and he sank onto the couch. There was no way that he could go down there without backup but there was no way that he was just gonna sit around and wait for another woman to be victimized in the way that he had seen so many others victimized before.

He'd been glad when no more tapes had been turning up but now the prospect of another one made him sick. It made it worse that he would know the woman who would be on the tape. He had such a bad feeling when he'd seen Moonshower in the stairwell that night. He'd gone back into his apartment and looked at the blurred faces from other tapes. The faces had been intentionally pixilated, all except for the face of the woman that they were torturing. He hated having to look back through those tapes but he had to if he was going to help Persephone.

She was his friend and he was letting her down with every argument he lost to his boss. He had been able to clean up one of the faces slightly; he was a techno wiz and that's one of the reasons that he'd been assigned to this case. The slightly cleaned image resembled Derek Moonshower. That morning he had just gotten up to go see Persephone and was ready to go so far as kidnapping her to keep her from going into work but he couldn't bring himself to use force on any woman. She had walked out of the building and when he had finally gotten over the slight shock of her determination in this matter, it had been too late to catch up with her.

He couldn't risk going to the store without backup; Derek didn't know his face but if any of the others were there, he was sure that at least one of them had spotted him in Phoenix the previous year.

He picked up his gun. It was a standard nine millimeter. He counted his bullets; there were four clips, six bullets each. Fletcher's problem was that he was more of a computers guy, he was lucky that he could fire a gun without shooting himself in the foot. He was no use to anyone going down there only to be killed and then no one would know about Persephone. He highly doubted that his boss even cared about the people who were affected by this sadist. Cooper only cared about getting his name in the papers. Cooper would probably be happy if there was at least one more victim because in the end, it would make him look better for taking down such an evil man. Fletcher down right hated his boss.

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Jeremy gathered his stuff together and prepared to head home for the night. On his way out, he passed Derek. He stopped and pondered asking his boss the question that had been bugging him since that morning "Hey boss?" he said timidly. Derek Moonshower was a very intimidating man in appearance and taller than Jeremy by at least a foot so Jeremy had a right to be timid.

"Yeah Jeremy?" Derek asked. He smiled at the other man but made sure to puff out his chest and try to look his most imposing. He knew that Jeremy was intimidated by him and he hoped to use that to his advantage.

"It's just," Jeremy found himself stumbling over his words "I haven't seen Persephone in a while and I… I was wondering," he gulped "Do you know… I mean have you… did she… uh…"

"Jeremy, Jeremy, Jeremy," Derek said jovially "Natalie isn't feeling well and Persephone offered to sit with her. I told her that we were all set down here. She's been up in the apartment all day," he clapped a hand on the shorter man's shoulder "Now," he through his head back with a loud short burst of laughter "Why don't you get home to that family of yours."

"Yes sir," Jeremy skittered out the door of the store, more than happy to be away from his bear of a boss.

"My best to Sally and the kids!" Derek called out after the swiftly retreating man. One problem taken care of, Derek headed back into the office where Rickie, Jack and Andy were waiting eagerly.

"Can we get started?" Andy asked. You would have thought that the thirty two year old was a little boy at Christmas.

"Calm yourself kid," Derek took a seat at his desk and looked up at the men who stood around him "Rickie, why don't you flip on the lights so we can see how our… guest is doing?" Rickie moved from where he was leaning against the wall and flipped a switch by the well hidden basement door. Derek opened his laptop, clicked open a program and the four men gathered around to see the live view of what the cameras were recording just below their feet.

"Right in view of the camera," Jack licked his lips "Perfect."

The four men stared at Olivia who sat against the wall to the right side of the bed. They watched as she slowly rose to her feet and inspected the room in the light cast by the bright florescent bulbs. Rickie moved to go down and stop her but Derek held out a hand "No, wait, let her see the kind of place she's in first."

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The harsh lights assaulted Olivia's eyes so suddenly that she had to shut her eyes for a few seconds until she felt like they had adjusted. When she opened them, she felt like closing them again. Actually being able to see where she was, she wanted to throw up. She stood and made her way to the far side of the room. She saw a small cage, as she drew closer to it, she saw a large blood stain on a filthy mat that lay on the floor of it.

She quickly returned to the bed, not bothering to notice that the mattress too was stained with blood in several spots and that a hook hung from the ceiling above it. She reached under the bed until her fingers came into contact with a whip. It wasn't much, in fact it was no match for a gun but it was something that she could use to defend herself.

She pulled it out from underneath the bed, making sure to keep her back to the recording equipment, just in case someone was watching she didn't want them to see what she was doing. She wanted the element of surprise. To cover up her reason for kneeling beside the bed, she pretended to say a prayer. Actually it wasn't really pretending, as she pulled the whip close to her body, she prayed that she would be able to get out of this place and away from those men. She was scared, there were just so many of them.

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"Aw, look at that," Jack said "She's praying. Oh come on, let's go get her now."

Derek smirked "Aren't you eager tonight? But okay. Rickie, go down there and get her ready."

"How come Rickie gets to have all the fun?" Jack wined.

"Because his balls have already dropped, now act your age, idiot," Andy smacked Jack on the arm.

"Shut up children!" Derek yelled at them "The two of you are grown adults," he was so frustrated with the two of them. They had always been like two horny teenagers as long as he had known them. Every mark that they subdued, they had to be told to keep it in there pants. Derek resolved that those two would be stuck standing guard duty and monitoring the video equipment while he and Rickie had the real fun, at least for the first few nights.

Rickie opened the door to the basement and made his way down the stairs. He left the door unlocked, knowing that if this woman tried to make a break for it, she wouldn't get very far.

Jack and Andy crowded closer to the laptop "What do you wanna bet that she makes him look like a complete idiot and he calls out for one of us to come save his ass?" Andy asked.

"He'll be rolling on the floor after five minutes," Jack laughed.

Derek ignored them. He didn't want to spoil their fun. They liked to feel like big men and he wasn't gonna kill their egos by telling them that he knew that the two of them combined hadn't been able to shut her up and that Rickie had subdued her in one fell swoop.

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Olivia heard the footsteps approaching and she shifted positions just slightly, getting ready to strike. She saw the man out of the corner of her eye. He drew closer, unaware that she heard him. She smiled slightly as she gripped the whip tighter. This man's brazenness would be his downfall. He was only a few feet from her when she sprang into action. She leapt to her feet, spinning around and striking him with the whip, hitting him across the chest.

Rickie stumbled back momentarily "You stupid bitch," he hissed as he lunged for her only to be hit once more with the whip. He lunged at her again and tackled her to the ground.

Olivia gasped as she was pinned under the man's full weight. She couldn't move her arm to strike out with the whip again but that didn't stop her from fighting. She tried to claw at him with her fingernails. After a minute or two she had to stop. He pinned her hands underneath her as he shifted her so that she was laying on her stomach.

"You just made a big mistake dearie," he whispered harshly as he pulled her head back by her hair and slapped her. He wrenched the whip from her hands and stood up "I'm gonna teach you some respect," he struck once, twice, three times.

Olivia struggled to her feet only to be grabbed and thrown onto the bed. She found herself laying face down again with Rickie lying on top of her. Her face was pressed firmly into the mattress. She could smell blood, urine and probably every other bodily fluid that existed. She tried not to gag. What kind of hell was this? How many women had met their fate in this very room on the same mattress where she lay now?

"You little whore," Rickie whispered as his hands roamed her body "Let's hear you scream huh?"

Olivia bit her bottom lip. She wouldn't scream, she wouldn't cry, she wouldn't give in to this. She felt his hands attempting to take off her shirt. She moved her hands to intercept the effort. For a moment, fingers grappled for supremacy before Rickie grew tired of her. Olivia felt her hands being wrenched above her head. Rickie reached below the bed and pulled out a pair of handcuffs. He slapped them on her wrists and hauled her to her feet. With some difficulty he managed to loop the short chain that ran between the cuffs over the hook that hung over the bed.

Olivia found the toes of her shoes just barely grazing the mattress. She remained silent, refusing to look at the man who was inflicting such pain on her. The bones in her wrists were pleading for relief and it was a plea that was hard to ignore but she did anyway. She ignored it because she couldn't willingly grant the relief and she knew that the man wouldn't either.

Rickie tried to approach her again, this time aiming to remove her pants but he got a very powerful kick to the jaw which sent him reeling backwards. He landed on the cement floor and looked up at the woman who hung from the ceiling "I think I underestimated you," he muttered. He stood to his feet and picked up the whip again.

The whip struck blow after blow and still Olivia fought the urge to scream. A few tears managed to make their way down her face but still no sound escaped her tightly clenched lips. The fact that she was still wearing clothes did little to shield her from the stinging pain that Rickie inflicted on her.

"Let's hear you scream babe," he said sweetly as he brought the whip across her back again "Come on," his tone became harsher as he struck ever faster with the whip "Scream you little bitch. Tell me you want me and I promise I'll stop."

She knew he was lying but the pain just became worse and worse. She kept silent as best she could but she couldn't help a small whimper of pain that slipped out.

"Ah," Rickie smiled as he lowered the whip "I was starting to think that perhaps you were a robot or something like that," he approached her again, this time with another pair of handcuffs which with some effort, he managed to use to bind her ankles together "But you aren't a robot," he smirked as he grabbed her waist and pulled her towards him so that the chain that hung over the hook came off and she landed hard on the bed in front of him. He climbed on top of her again "You're just a filthy little whore aren't you?" She tried to turn away but he forced her to look at him "Aren't you?" he asked again more forcefully. Still she didn't answer. He threw her from the bed onto the floor where she lay face down. He pushed her face hard into the cement as his knee dug into the small of her back "Aren't you?" he asked again.

The pain was so intense, Olivia was losing control. It just hurt so much. She wanted it to be over. Without even realizing it at first she let out in a faint whimper "Yes."

"What was that?" Rickie demanded as he hauled her up by her hair and slammed her down again on her back this time "I couldn't hear what you said."

"Yes," she repeated as she tried to hold back a sob. It hurt so God damn much and with her arms and hands cuffed, she couldn't defend herself.

"Yes what?" Rickie asked forcefully as he leaned heavily on her stomach.

"I'm a filthy little whore," she choked out as she gasped for breath around another sob.

"Good girl," Rickie dragged her back to the bed and lay her down "Hmm," he said to himself as he noticed something "These could be a problem," he looked at the cuffs. He couldn't undress her with her hands and feet bound together and he still didn't trust her enough to release her if only briefly. He reached underneath the bed again and pulled out a pair of scissors.

Olivia's eyes widened when she saw the scissors "Please," she whispered "Don't."

"No worries dearie," Rickie assured her as he cut away he clothing, leaving her completely exposed on the bed in front of him. He stood up and was about to leave when he bent down again "I'll be back later and then we can have some real fun," he smiled and kissed her lips lightly.

Olivia listened to his footsteps as he climbed the stairs. She heard the door slam at the top and the lock click into place. She was alone, alone with the exception of the camera which still watched her. She had no doubt that all of those men were watching her. They probably wanted to see her cry. She didn't want to give them the satisfaction but she couldn't help it. She curled up on her side on the cold mattress that told the story of countless souls before her and let the tears come freely.

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Elliot had driven non stop to her apartment building. Something was tugging at his very being, telling him that something was wrong, terribly wrong. He pulled up in front of the building and almost jumped out of the car before he had even parked it. He ran up to the building and searched the names beside the buzzers. There were very few names compared to the number of apartments and he didn't have to look long until he found it. He fairly pounded on the buzzer with all his fear and nervous energy driving him "Please be there," he whispered.

A window opened above him and a young man stuck his head out "Can I help you?" he asked.

"Yeah," Elliot looked up "I'm looking for a friend of mine," he paused, trying to think of what her undercover name was. It finally came to him "Persephone."

The young man paused before answering "She's not here," his tone was sad, regretful.

Elliot's world crumbled away in an instant "No," he whispered "No, no, no," he rammed his hand into the side of the building "I told you not to go into work Olivia, why didn't you listen?"

"What did you say?" the younger man asked, leaning further out of the window. He knew what he heard but there had to be some mistake.

"What?" Elliot was snapped back to reality for a moment "Oh, I didn't say anything."

"Yes you did," the man countered "You called her Olivia. Don't move, I'm coming down there."

Fletcher grabbed his gun and shoved it into the holster that he rarely used. Quickly he ran down the stairs, eager to find out anything that this new comer knew. He swung open the doors to find the stranger still standing there, looking utterly obliterated.

"I told you not to go," he murmured "Why do you always do this?"

"Sir?" Fletcher asked as he approached "I think we need to talk."

**TBC**

**A/N: Ooh what will happen next? Please review.**


	6. Chapter 6: Cry

**Finding Olivia**

**Chapter 6: Cry**

"What are you telling me?" Elliot sat in Fletcher's apartment. He was totally confused by what the younger man was telling him. Olivia wasn't in her apartment which meant that she had gone to work and not come back. He had known that something was wrong but he hadn't been able to get there fast enough. His nightmare flashed in his mind. If anything happened to her, he would never forgive himself.

"They won't send me backup," Fletcher explained "I can't go down there alone. I mean," he gestured to his skinny frame frantically "Look at me."

"Wait, who won't back you up?" Elliot asked. He was finding it hard to focus on anything other than his worry for Olivia.

"My boss at the Bureau won't send backup," Fletcher handed Elliot his FBI badge "He doesn't give a crap about what happens to Persephone."

"Olivia," Elliot corrected softly. That was her name. She was Olivia Benson, one of the best cops in all of Manhattan. She wasn't this Persephone person that Fletcher was speaking of, even though Elliot knew he was talking about her.

"Right," Fletcher snapped his head around quickly "So we have to go down to Derek's store and see what we can find."

"I'm in," Elliot said resolutely as he stood up.

"I think I should prepare you for what we might find when we get there," Fletcher motioned for Elliot to sit again.

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Jack and Andy laughed hysterically as Rickie emerged from the basement, rubbing his badly bruised and now very swollen jaw. Rickie shot an angry look in there direction before heading over to Derek "Watch out for that one," he told him "She's trouble," as he spoke, he reached into the top drawer of the desk and pulled out a blank DVD. He inserted it into the laptop and copied the last half hour of footage onto it. He took the disk out and put it in his pocket "I'm gonna head home," he told Derek.

"Gonna need two ice packs huh Rickie?" Jack chuckled. Rickie turned in Jack's direction and scowled. He wasn't even going to ask. But he didn't need to because Andy was quick to jump in and join the conversation.

"Why would he need two ice packs Jack?" Andy asked in an amused tone, pretending he didn't already know the answer.

"One for the jaw," Jack responded coolly "And another one for his poor little ego," the two burst out in a fit of boisterous laughter.

Rickie simply turned to leave. He knew that getting mad at these two wouldn't help his situation. Just before he shut the office door behind him, he turned and said "I'd like to see you two try and do what I did."

That statement managed to shut Andy and Jack up for a few seconds before Andy broke the silence by fairly screeching "Hey, I think we've just been insulted!"

"No shit," Derek mumbled to himself as he turned back to the computer screen. He noticed that she was now curled up on her side, trying to protect herself as best she could, he assumed. He considered how long he should wait before he went down there himself. While Derek was thinking though, he didn't notice Jack stand up and head down into the basement. At least he didn't notice until he saw Jack come into view on the computer screen "Damn it Jack," he muttered but instead of doing anything, Derek simply watched. This would be fun to see even if Jack screwed it up.

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Olivia heard the footsteps approaching and tensed instantly. _Not again, please not again,_ she silently begged. She wanted to be anywhere else. She felt the mattress dip as someone climbed on the bed beside her. She felt whoever it was wrap his arms afound her from behind.

"How you doing?" a voice whispered in her ear.

Olivia didn't answer and attempted to pull away. She was able to thrust her cuffed hands back into the face of the person and felt a small jolt of satisfaction when she heard whoever it was cry out in pain.

Jack's hands flew to his face. His nose gushed blood and was more than likely broken "Damn you," he grabbed Olivia by her cuffed hands and threw her to the floor.

Olivia hit the floor hard, trying not to scream, she looked up to see a boot clad foot headed directly for her. She managed to roll to the side to dodge the first blow but she wasn't so lucky when it came to avoiding the second one. She flung her hands up only to have them grabbed once more.

Jack held her in a choke hold "How do you like that bitch!" he screamed. Olivia was finding it hard to breathe. Somehow, she managed to bite Jack in the arm. Jack released his hold on her and stumbled backwards and Olivia made her best effort to crawl away. She didn't get very far however. Jack grabbed her again and waved something in front of her face. It was a pocket knife. Olivia steeled instantly.

"Oh Jack," Derek's voice floated into the room. He sounded disappointed "That's not how we play," he walked up to Jack and effortlessly knocked the knife out of his hands. Before Jack could protest Derek spoke again "You head upstairs and keep poor Andy company," Jack obeyed, letting Olivia fall to the floor once more.

Derek bent down beside Olivia "You know," he began as she stared back at him with a mixture of fear and confusion swimming in her eyes "I really am sorry about this," he told her. Olivia's confusion only grew as he continued "I don't usually kidnap my employees but… after last night… well I couldn't give you a chance to get away," as he spoke he took a set of keys out of his pocket and undid the handcuffs. Olivia felt almost grateful, that is until he spoke again "I like a challenge."

As soon as Olivia was able to, she stood. She found that she was far more shaky on her feet than she had expected; the last few hours must have been harder on her body than she had thought. She tried to dodge Derek's grasp as he reached for her but she was unsuccessful. He pulled her naked body flush against his clothed one and though she struggled, she couldn't get away from him. He ran a hand down her back, slowly. The contact sent shivers through her but not the good kind. She tried to pull away again but she found herself on the mattress once more, this time underneath Derek.

"You didn't quite scream for Rickie," he murmured into her ear "You didn't even moan for Jack," his hands made their way to her waist "I wonder," he mused as he slowly parted her thighs "Will you scream for me?"

Olivia rolled quickly to the side and successfully got out from underneath him. She got off the bed and started to run but there was nowhere to run to. She felt herself being yanked back by her hair. The sensation was so sudden that she couldn't help the audible gasp "Let go," she told him in as firm a tone as she could manage.

Derek laughed and Olivia felt the cuffs being placed on her wrists again. Derek hung her from the hook again and admired her body slowly "You really are something," he told her as his hands found her breasts and roughly squeezed. He smiled at the reaction that he saw in her face "Its okay to scream," he told her as he pulled her thighs apart once more "They all scream," he smiled.

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Elliot entered the store, gun drawn, followed closely by Fletcher. His eyes quickly scanned the aisles and found them all to be empty "Where is this guy?" he whispered over his shoulder to Fletcher.

Fletcher pointed to two doors on the wall to their right "I'll check this one," he said reaching for one and pulling it open to reveal a staircase "You look in there," he pointed to the other door.

"What happens if you find something up there?" Elliot asked,

pointing to the staircase. Fletcher had already expressed to Elliot his fears about his accuracy with his gun.

"Maybe I'll get a lucky shot off," Fletcher chuckled humorlessly "Besides, if I find something, you'll know. I scream like a little girl," with that Fletcher disappeared up the winding staircase.

Elliot shrugged and pulled open the other door to reveal an office. Two people sat at a desk in the middle of the room. They seemed to be focused on something and didn't look up when Elliot approached. Elliot didn't say anything as he snuck up behind the two men. He had a bad feeling that he shouldn't trust them. When he was only a few inches away from them, he saw what they were looking at and he absolutely lost it "Where is she!" he grabbed the man nearest to him and shoved the barrel of his gun against the man's head.

"Where is who?" Jack asked. He was so stunned that his mind couldn't process anything except the gun.

Elliot pointed at the computer screen "Her," he hissed. Andy attempted to get up and reach the gun that they had taken from their target earlier but Elliot saw him and with a flick of the wrist, he knocked the man unconscious.

Jack's eyes widened in fear "She's in the basement," he said, pointing to the door at the back of the office.

Elliot took out his handcuffs. He clasped one cuff to Jack's wrist then looped the chain around one of the legs of the heavy desk before placing the other cuff around one of the unconscious Andy's wrists. He sprinted to the back of the office and flung open the door. He raced down the stairs two at a time.

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"I thought you liked a challenge," Olivia was trying to stall him although she didn't know why that would help. She didn't know if anyone would think to come looking for her here.

"There's a challenge," Derek smiled as he wrapped her leg around his waist "And then there's a challenge," he smirked as he undid his pants "You just have to find the enjoyment in each one." Olivia tried to kick Derek with her free leg but it was at too odd of an angle in relationship to Derek's body for it to do any good. Derek smiled wider "Come on," he encouraged as he prepared to enter her "Let's hear you scream."

"Freeze!" Derek was so surprised to hear the new voice in the room that he let go of Olivia completely and spun around "Back away from her slowly," Elliot commanded as he pointed his gun at Derek. He knew he could never take the shot with Olivia so close but he was hoping that Derek didn't know that.

Olivia made eye contact with Elliot. It was the first time in a week that she had laid eyes on him. He looked like he had barely slept in that long. She wanted to cry in relief but it wasn't over yet. She watched as Derek reached into his pocket and pulled out something "Elliot," she called out his name without even thinking about it "He's got a knife."

Derek looked at her for a moment "Elliot hmm?" he turned back to Elliot "So you two know each other?"

"Drop the knife," Elliot commanded. His weapon never faltered from Derek but his gaze shifted quickly between Derek, the knife in his hand and Olivia who looked increasingly afraid.

Derek smiled. He pulled Olivia from the hook above the bed in a way similar to how Rickie had done earlier except he didn't let her fall. Instead he held her up in front of him as he took a step in Elliot's direction "Just how good of a shot are you, Elliot?" he asked.

"Let her go right now," Elliot tried to remain calm on the outside while inside, he was dying. _No! No! No! I'm not gonna lose her,_ his mind screamed.

"Oh," Derek smiled "I don't think so," he placed the knife at Olivia's throat "You see, we were in the middle of something when you so rudely interrupted us," he kissed Olivia's neck "I think we'll just finish up and then I'll let you have what's left of her."

Elliot clenched his jaw "You son of a bitch," he spat out.

Derek through his head back and laughed "This woman must be important to you," he smiled. He put his lips next to Olivia's ear and whispered "Does he mean something to you too darling?"

Olivia felt the anger well up inside her. She brought her elbow back against his stomach. She felt the pocket knife slice into her and she fell to the ground. As she lay on the floor, she heard three gunshots and saw Derek fall.

"Olivia," Elliot holstered his gun and ran to her side. He wrapped his coat around her as he inspected the cut on her neck; it looked far too familiar for his comfort. He pressed a tissue from his pocket against it until he was sure that the bleeding had stopped "Liv, honey," he whispered nervously "Can you hear me?"

Her eyes which had drifted closed when she'd seen Derek fall, slowly flickered open "Elliot," she found it impossible to hold back the tears anymore and she began to sob.

Elliot's own tears fell as he held her "Its okay," he whispered "It's okay."

**TBC**

**There are probably about two chapters left in this story. Please review.**


	7. Chapter 7: Don't Leave

**Finding Olivia**

**Chapter 7: Don't Leave**

"How are you feeling?" Elliot asked as he took a seat beside Olivia's hospital bed. She had been fully examined by the doctors and it appeared that her injuries weren't too severe. Some minor dehydration, a few moderately deep lacerations on her back, various bruises, the small cut on her neck but nothing that couldn't be handled, the doctors had reassured Elliot.

She stared at her lap for a long time, pulling the blanket that she had wrapped around her shoulders tighter, she answered softly "Okay, I guess."

He reached out to take one of her hands "Derek's dead," he told her. He didn't know what good that news would do her but he wanted to tell her all the same.

"I thought he might be," she said as her hand pulled back from his for a moment before allowing his fingers to make slight contact.

Elliot looked at her. She looked so small wrapped in the blanket. He felt so guilty for letting this happen "Liv," he whispered "I'm so sorry."

She looked up then and made eye contact with him "This wasn't your fault Elliot," she looked down at her lap again "It was mine. You tried to tell me not to go. Hell, Fletcher told me not to go. I went to work anyway and that's why I'm here."

"He would have come looking for you," Elliot stated in a soft voice.

"And if he had, he would have run into Fletcher," she countered.

Elliot tried to hold back a chuckle "Fletcher's a damn fine agent," Elliot told her "But he's one poor shot," he smiled slightly "At least," he amended "According to him that is."

Olivia still had a hard time accepting the fact that Fletcher, the same kid who lived next to her and came to her asking advice about his girl problems, was an FBI agent. She smiled just a little "How's he holding up?"

"He's chewing his boss out right now," Elliot told her "I think he's dealing," Fletcher had seen some pretty awful stuff having been one of those who searched the recordings for evidence but Elliot knew that it probably never got any easier for the young man.

Olivia nodded in understanding "How are you holding up?" she asked.

"Olivia," Elliot sighed. He didn't want to have this conversation now, not with her. It had been her that he had seen in that basement, not just some random vic, which would have torn him up inside enough, but it had been her. He would probably be seeing George for multiple sessions upon returning to New York but there was no way that he was going to talk about this with Olivia.

"Please talk to me?" she finally allowed the fingers of her hand to wrap around his. She needed to hear his voice. She needed to know that while Derek had broken her down, he was still strong enough to carry both of them "Tell me," she encouraged softly. _Tell me that you're all right and that we'll get through this,_ she prayed.

"Liv… I think that…" he trailed off. _Please don't make me talk about this now. It's too soon. What do you want me to tell you? That every time I close my eyes, I see you hanging from that hook. I see Derek's face and I feel like killing him all over again. If that's what you want me to tell you then I'm sorry because I can't. I can't tell you because you'll worry about me. You've been through so much. Please don't worry about me._

She cautiously reached her other hand out from within the confines of the blanket. Both of her hands held his one between them "Tell me… tell me that you're okay," she pleaded.

He looked into her eyes and saw the fear there, the fear that she was trying to hide. He felt her hands slowly moving over his in small circles. He winced momentarily, her fingers were so cold, it reminded him of his nightmare. He reached out with his other hand and enveloped Olivia's hands in his in an effort to warm them. As he looked into her eyes, he told her "I'll be fine, we both will."

"Thank you," she smiled as she huddled closer into the blankets, withdrawing her hands inside her cocoon as well.

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"You went in without a warrant," Cooper chastised as he sat at his desk, holding the phone to his ear and listening to Fletcher's report.

"We had reason to believe that she was in immediate danger," Fletcher stated "What we found while searching the premises for her is admissible."

"Who is we?" Cooper asked "I don't remember authorizing any sting operation."

"You wouldn't get off your ass and do anything," Fletcher fumed "So we acted."

"Again with this 'we' business," Cooper spat "Who were you with?"

"A friend of hers," Fletcher told his boss; he didn't think that Cooper deserved to know the details but he divulged them anyway "A detective with the NYPD like she herself is."

"I thought your friend stocked shelves at Moonshower's store?" Cooper was confused.

_Wow, he actually listened to something I told him_ "She was manipulated into believing that she was undercover for the FBI," Fletcher answered.

"I'm afraid that you've completely lost me," Cooper said as he absently drummed his fingers on the top of his desk.

_There's a shocker!_ Fletcher thought sarcastically "It's a long story sir," Fletcher said in his most respectful tone "I don't even know all the details yet."

"Damn it," Cooper slammed his hand on his desk "Doesn't anyone know anything? Who's in charge of this operation anyway?"

Fletcher tried not to laugh at his boss's stupidity "I was under the impression that that was you sir," he responded.

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She ducked down an alleyway, running at full speed. She hated being on the run but she had no choice. Three years ago she had been thrown to the dogs to be torn apart and now it seemed like the anonymous person who had promised to take care of her had done the same, although she was grateful that this time, the dogs weren't nearly as sadistic. She reached the end of the alley and darted down the sidewalk. She had to find someplace to hide. She considered turning herself in. She had after all scent Olivia unwittingly to those same dogs who had broken her down. She would never forgive herself for that. She hadn't wanted the money but it had been given to her anyway.

And what she had allowed to happen to Elliot. It had been an accident but it had accomplished what her anonymous benefactor/tormentor had wanted, how had the synthesized voice on the other end of the phone put it? Oh yes 'divide and conquer'. She had nothing to feel but guilt for choosing her own life over theirs. She hadn't known them when she had first agreed to this farce but she had read about some of the things they had done, for other people and each other. She wished she hadn't done what she'd done.

She turned down yet another alley and allowed herself to rest behind a dumpster. There was really no place she could go. It would be better if she turned herself in and told them all she knew about the person who had been threatening her to do their bidding under the guise of paying her off. Besides, she knew that the cops wouldn't turn her back over to the pornography ring to be tortured until she died.

She rose from the cold ground and made her way slowly further down the alley until she reached the next sidewalk. She turned in the direction of the 16th precinct and began walking. She would turn herself in and do the right thing for the first time in over three years. Just the thought of doing the right thing, made her heavy heart feel so much lighter.

A car drove past her and through a deep puddle, splashing her with muddy water. She didn't even have time to curse as a bullet ripped through her flesh. She didn't know where it had come from. All she knew was the searing pain in her shoulder as she collapsed to the ground. She knew as she lay there, that she was going to die. With some effort, she managed to clasp her hands together "God," she whispered "Please forgive me and protect those that I so selfishly tried to destroy."

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"Aren't you tired?" Olivia asked as she watched Elliot sitting in the obviously uncomfortable hospital chair. He had been sitting with her ever since the nurse had told him that he could see her and it was getting close to one in the morning.

"I'm fine," he reassured her even as he stifled a yawn. _There's nothing anyone could do or say to make me leave your side._

"You are so not fine," she told him sternly "Go get some sleep," she told him.

"Where am I gonna go?" he asked in an almost sharp tone but softened it instantly "There's nowhere else I'd want to be right now than with you."

Olivia slid over in the hospital bed "Climb in," she told him.

"Liv," he tried to protest. He remembered the way that she had shrunk away from his hand and he didn't want to push her into something she wasn't ready for "I don't want to-"

"I'm fine," she reassured him, reaching a hand out. She felt so alone and though she didn't want to admit it to him, she wanted to be as close as physically possible to him tonight "Slide in," she told him.

"Olivia," he protested "It's a small bed."

"I know that," she told him "Please, just… if it's not too much trouble could you… I mean…" _Hold me please. I'm so scared right now, you don't even know. Please hold me tonight. I want to pretend like its possible that we could be._ "Get your ass in this bed now," she half shouted playfully at him.

"Are you sure?" he asked as he sat on the edge of the bed.

She nodded "Please?" _Make this go away. Can you make this go away? Hold me, talk to me and maybe I'll forget the sting of that whip. Maybe if we talk like we used to, I won't remember the words that I said to make that first one stop._

He slid in next to her, trying to keep his distance. _I don't want to hurt you. I don't want to scare you. I love you too much. I want to hold you tonight but I'm afraid. If I do, will I hurt you? Will my arms around you somehow remind you of him? Please God, I don't want to hurt her, I want to help her but I don't know what to do this time. I don't know what to say._

"Elliot," she reached her arms out in an effort to pull him closer. She was afraid if he stayed where he was, he would topple off the bed if he fell asleep "Come here," she told him as her hands found his shoulders.

"Are you sure?" he asked again "I don't want to… are you sure you're all right with this?"

"It's just you," she reassured him as she attempted to nuzzle closer to him. _Is this sudden for you? Would you run away now if I thanked you for coming to get me? Would you run away if I said I loved you?_

He found himself wrapping his arms around her and pulling the blankets tight around them both "Why do hospitals have to be so damn cold?" he asked her as he shivered. _Are you comfortable with me holding you? I don't want you to be afraid of my touch. I don't want you to be afraid of me. Would you be afraid if I told you I love you?_

"I'm not sure," she too shivered and huddled closer against Elliot's body "It seems unnatural doesn't it?" _Just keep talking to me. Any topic is fine. I just wanna hear your voice._

"It seems natural when…" Elliot trailed off. _It feels so right to hold you but I can't tell you that now._ He looked down at Olivia whose head lay against his chest. _You'd think I was being an ass. Would you ever love me the way I love you?_

"It's not so bad," Olivia mused as she began to fall asleep, feeling warm and safe with Elliot beside her. _If I said I loved you, would you leave? Would you never speak to me again? Would I go back to New York and find that I've lost everything? Please don't ever leave?_

"The cold?" he asked. He found his hand stroking her hair subconsciously. _I love you. I love you. If I said it out loud, would you hate me for it?_

"Being in a hospital," she murmured "When you're here with me." I feel safe here. _You do something to me. You make me feel like I don't have to be afraid. If I told you these things, would you look at me differently?_

"I'll go anywhere just to be next to you." _Damn, I said that out loud! Please don't hate me Olivia? Please don't push me away?_

She looked up at him and smiled "Same here," she yawned. _I love you._

"You sound tired," he remarked. _Will you even remember this conversation in the morning? I hope you do._

"It's been…" she searched her mind for the word to describe the day and only found herself thinking about the events of the day more than she wanted to. She shivered and tried to shrink further into Elliot's arms without even realizing it.

"Olivia?" he asked. He held tighter to her even though his mind was telling him to let her go. _It's too much. I'm pushing her too fast. She's afraid. I'm making her afraid. Damn it, don't hold her so close you idiot. Don't hold on to her like your life depends on it you stupid love sick fool._

She looked up at him again as her own arms snaked around him to pull him closer. She held him as tight as he held her. _I thought about you. I was afraid I would die there and never see you again. I was afraid I would never hear your voice again. I was afraid I'd never get the chance to tell you I love you. So why am I waiting now? Because if I tell you, you'll leave won't you? If you leave, I'll never get through this. I want to tell you but I'm not ready. I need to know that you won't leave._ "I'm all right," she whispered. _As long as you hold me like this, I'm all right._

"You're sure," he tried to pull away.

"Please don't leave!" the words were almost shrieked and she didn't even realize it at first until he pulled her back into his arms.

"I'm here," he soothed "I won't leave unless you ask me too."

"I'm not gonna tell you to leave," she whispered "Not ever. Please don't ever leave?"

He pressed a kiss to the crown of her head "I'm here, you're safe, it's gonna be all right." _I love you. I'll never leave you as long as I can help it._

"Thank you," she whispered. _I need you if I'm gonna get through this. I'm not as strong as I pretend to be and you're the only one who understands and lets me be. I need that. I need you._

"Please don't thank me?" he whispered as tears sprang to his eyes. _I should have known that Star would do this. I should have said something to keep you from leaving in the first place. I should have gotten here sooner. Please don't thank me? I don't deserve it. I'm so sorry._

"Why not?" she asked as she reached a hand up to touch his face, her fingers made contact with the single tear that made its way from his eye down his cheek. _Please don't cry? If you cry, I'll cry. There's no reason you should cry._

"Please just don't thank me?" he begged softly. _Not for coming out here, not for staying here with you and please not for finding you._

"Okay," Olivia sensed something in his voice that told her she should drop this now. She laid her head against his chest and listened to his heart.

Elliot waited until he thought she was asleep. He kissed her forehead again and smiled as he continued to cry "I'm so glad I can be here with you. I love you."

Olivia smiled against his chest "I'm glad you're here," she answered him "I love you too."

**TBC**

**A/N: Okay so blame this on my love of EO but well here's chapter seven. I'd appreciate your feedback on this chapter so please review.**


	8. Chapter 8: The Long Road Home

**Finding Olivia**

**Chapter 8: The Long Road Home**

"Mm," Olivia smiled as she stepped into the sunlight. It was a new day, in more ways than one. Elliot stood beside her with his arm wrapped around her waist. In one moment of liberating honesty the previous night, their lives which had seemed so bleak up until that second began to take a turn down a new road. She didn't know what would lie ahead where they were going but she knew that if they went there together, where they were headed would be much better than where they had been. She leaned her head on Elliot's shoulder "It's so good to be out of there," she told him.

Elliot nodded as they neared his rental car where Fletcher stood waiting for them "Hey," he nodded to the younger man who had agreed to drive them to the airport and return the car for Elliot. Fletcher had been very helpful, he had made sure that the investigation into Derek's death was expedited and that Elliot was cleared of any charges that the Sheriff's office might have decided to file. Fletcher had also gone to Olivia's apartment and packed the short list of items that she had told him she was bringing back to New York with her.

Fletcher opened the back passenger side door and stepped aside and with a grand sweeping gesture he said in a tone that tried to be serious "Your carriage awaits madam."

Olivia laughed a little "Thanks Fletcher," she slid into the back seat and fastened the belt over herself before she added "For everything."

Fletcher nodded before turning to Elliot "She doesn't know yet does she?" he asked. He had informed Elliot earlier that morning before Olivia had woken up, that the time codes on the recording showed that a half hour was missing. He had also finally been able to tell Elliot what he hadn't gotten the chance to the night before. When Fletcher had gone up that staircase, he had found himself in the apartment above the store that Derek Moonshower shared with his wife Natalie. Natalie Moonshower was in the kitchen, lying on the floor, dead, she had slit her wrists. There was very little doubt that it was a suicide. Natalie had left a long elaborate note that FBI investigators had found taped under the sink where Natalie had hoped that her husband would never find it.

"She doesn't need to know yet," Elliot answered softly "I'll tell her once we're on the plain and headed as far away from this place as possible."

Fletcher shook his head "If you say so," he mumbled as he walked around to the front of the car and slid into the driver's seat.

Elliot slid into the back beside Olivia "How are you feeling?" he asked as Fletcher started the car.

She stared straight ahead for a moment, ridged once again, vigilant against any and all perceived threats. She turned to him finally and whispered so as not to betray her emotions "I need to know that it's over."

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"How severe is it?" Munch asked as he and Fin stood outside the room in the intensive care unit where Dana Lewis lay, attached to machines and fighting for her life.

"She was shot in the shoulder," the doctor told him "It was a while before anyone found her so she lost a lot of blood."

"What are her chances?" Munch asked as he scribbled something on his notepad. He wondered how anyone could ignore someone lying on the street bleeding to death.

"She was in incredibly good physical condition," the doctor explained "She should recover nicely."

"When will she be up to talking?" Fin asked, reaching for the handle of the door.

The doctor stopped him "She's not even awake yet," he told the detectives "Let alone lucid enough to answer questions."

"When will she be awake?" Fin asked impatiently.

"It could be a few hours," the doctor answered pensively "It could be another couple of days."

"Thanks," Munch shook the doctor's hand as he and Fin turned away and walked down the hall a few yards.

"Now what?" Fin asked as he stopped and leaned against a wall.

Munch sighed, removing his glasses and rubbing his tired eyes before returning them to his face "Captain says she's our case," he grumbled "He wants to know her motives and who was paying her. He doesn't want to turn her over to anyone else yet."

"Why can't we just load her off on the feds?" Fin asked his partner with a groan.

"Because, my incredibly empathetic friend," Munch began, putting a hand on Fin's shoulder "Our dear little Dana isn't just a perp here, she's also a victim."

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"Are you sure you're allowed to be here?" the medical examiner asked the two men and one pale looking woman who stood in front of him.

All three flashed their IDs as Fletcher told the ME "This has all been authorized."

The man shook his head and turned "Follow me," he called over his shoulder. He heard the three sets of footsteps echoing behind him in the hall. He reached the appropriate area and pulled open the drawer "We're just about to ship him off to be buried," he said, his voice cold and full of hate for the dead man before him "Filthy bastard," he muttered.

Olivia slowly moved past Elliot and towards the body. She watched as the ME pulled the sheet off the face. For a moment, she was unable to say anything. She found her voice again and whispered to the ME "Thanks," without waiting for a response, she quickly turned away.

Elliot went after her and caught up with her when she had exited the morgue. He watched as she leaned against the building, taking slow deep breaths, her face upturned towards the sun. He came up beside her "He's dead," he stated.

"I know," she whispered in return as she turned to him and buried her face in his chest as her arms wrapped around his neck "I thought that seeing his body would make it all go away."

"Did it?" Elliot asked softly. He held her close to him, wanting to absorb any hurt she was feeling.

"For a moment," she sobbed "When I first saw his face… I…"

Elliot moved a hand up to stroke her hair "I know," he whispered "It's sometimes hard to believe that they're dead at first."

"No," she separated from him just slightly "For a moment… I thought he was… I thought I saw you," she pulled him close to her again, needing to feel his heartbeat, needing to feel the rise and fall of his chest, needing to know that he was still alive.

"Liv," he whispered "I'm so sorry," it was all he could think to say after what she had just told him.

"Please," she whispered "Don't think that I could ever think it was you that did those things to me. I know you'd never do anything to hurt anyone."

"I never would," he told her as he stood there with her in his arms.

"I know you wouldn't," she told him firmly, trying to convince him of what she knew "It's just when I thought I saw you… I thought I would die too. I was scared. For one second, I thought that you were gone and if that ever happened for real. I just can't lose you."

"I'm not going anywhere," he told her "I'm gonna be right beside you," he reassured her then he smiled slightly "You can't even get rid of me by going across country. I don't think that you'll ever get rid of me."

"I don't ever want to," she laughed and cried all at the same time as she kissed him. She separated and put her head on his shoulder "I love you."

"I love you too," he whispered in her ear as his hand went slowly up and down her back.

After a few minutes of standing together that way, Fletcher came out of the building to find them "Guys," he called "We should go if you're gonna catch your flight."

Olivia separated from Elliot "Let's go home," she smiled warmly at him and took his hand, leading him to the car.

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"I hate goodbyes," Fletcher told the two detectives as he escorted them to the gate.

"Me too," Elliot agreed, he subconsciously tightened his grip on Olivia's waist just slightly.

"This isn't goodbye," Olivia reassured Fletcher with an almost motherly smile "Its more like… stay in touch?" she suggested.

"Sounds good to me," Fletcher said as he gave Olivia a quick hug before turning to leave.

Elliot noticed how Olivia seemed to tense up when Fletcher touched her. And from the way that Fletcher quickly let go and backed away with an apologetic expression on his face, Elliot was sure that Fletcher had noticed too.

"Sorry," Fletcher murmured. He had forgotten for a moment but that moment had been long enough to inflict damage "I didn't mean…"

"It's okay," Olivia reassured him before hugging him again, trying her hardest not to flinch. Regardless, the hug was still very brief.

"Flight 515 for LaGuardia is now boarding," the disembodied voice resounded through the airport.

"Well, that's us," Elliot said, taking Olivia's hand "If you're ever in Manhattan Fletcher, look us up."

"I'll do that," Fletcher smiled "Now go, go before you miss your flight," he playfully shoed his friends towards the plain.

The two detectives waved one last time before they lost sight of Fletcher in the crowd.

Elliot turned to Olivia as they walked through the corridor that led to the plain "Are you ready for this?" he asked.

Olivia didn't need to ask what he was talking about. He wanted to know if she was ready to return to New York, to her apartment, to her job. With all that she had been through and the stress of having to explain their relationship to the captain and everyone, he wanted to know that it wasn't moving too fast "I can handle it," she answered.

"You know," Elliot attempted to give her one last out "I think we both have some vacation time accumulated. If you wanted to take a few days just to get resituated…"

Olivia took a moment to consider his offer. Normally she wouldn't have given such an offer a second thought but nothing was normal anymore. Finally she conceded "Just a few days, until I get settled in again."

They were on the plain now and looking for their seats "This is us," Elliot told her as he pointed to two seats. Olivia slid in first and Elliot took the aisle seat. He turned to Olivia "So," he began "What's the first thing you're gonna do when you get back to Manhattan?"

"Get my stuff out of storage," she answered immediately, smiling to herself at the simple pleasure of being able to sleep in her own bed again.

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"Is there any chance that she'll wake up in the next nine hours?" Cragen asked as he paced his office with the phone in his hand.

"Apparently," Munch told the captain "According to the doctor, anything's possible. Maybe you should try tapping your heels together and wishing on a star."

"Maybe I should try finding a new detective," Cragen deadpanned "Listen, Elliot and Olivia are landing at LaGuardia in nine hours. I would like some answers for them concerning how all of this happened. If there is someone out there who's out to get them, I want to know who that person is before they make another attempt."

"How are they doing?" Munch asked. He and Fin were made aware by the captain, as soon as he had heard from Elliot, about what had happened to Olivia. He knew that Elliot was probably hurting unbelievably for Olivia.

"I spoke to her before they left the hospital," Cragen told him "She seems fine but you know Olivia."

Munch nodded "And Elliot?"

Cragen sighed "He's trying to be strong for her and she probably needs that right now. I think I'm going to make them take at least a week off when they get back."

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"So what were you going to tell me as soon as we were on the plain?" Olivia asked just as Elliot was starting to get comfortable.

"Um…" Elliot trailed off for a moment. He didn't want to tell her about the half hour that was unaccounted for. He thought that it might do more harm than good.

"Elliot," she said softly, placing a hand on his knee "What is it?" she was suddenly nervous. She knew that they hadn't found Rickie but it had sounded like the feds were closing in on him.

"It's nothing," he told her, trying to make it sound not nearly as disturbing as it really was. He turned in his seat to face her and placed a hand on the side of her face "I promise that no one will ever see it."

"See what?" she asked. She knew he couldn't promise that no one would ever see the video. It was evidence in the case that the feds were building against Andy and Jack. It was evidence that cleared Elliot of murder charges. She knew that people were going to see it but she tried not to think about that.

Elliot took a deep breath "Half an hour of footage is missing," he let her rest her head on his shoulder "Fletcher thinks that Rickie might have taken a copy with him before deleting it."

This was bad, this was very bad "Oh God," she whispered. She had a feeling that Rickie would have taken the footage that could have identified him. Tears began to burn her eyes. What he'd done had just hurt so much. She hadn't wanted to give in but it hurt so much.

"_Yes."_

"_Yes what?"_

"_I'm a filthy little whore."_

She just wanted him to stop. She did what he demanded of her because she wanted him to stop "Oh God," she whispered again. Suddenly she felt even more ashamed then she had before. If Rickie had a copy of that footage, he could make duplicates, he could put it on the internet, any and every perp she had ever put in jail could get their kicks watching her be broken by one man. This and other humiliating scenarios swum in her head "Oh God, Elliot," she completely collapsed against him.

"They're gonna find him and the footage he took," Elliot assured her "I won't let him get anywhere near you," he dropped a kiss to the top of her head.

She sniffled and pulled herself into a sitting position again "How long until we land?" she asked.

**TBC**

**A/N: So two chapters ago, I said that there were only two chapters left but I wrote two chapters and there is at least one chapter left of this story.**


	9. Chapter 9: Home

**Finding Olivia**

**Chapter 9: Home**

"Detectives," Dana's doctor stood in the doorway "She's awake and asking to speak with you."

Munch entered the room first followed by Fin. He took a seat beside the bed while Fin stood back and leaned against the wall. Munch took out his notepad and pen "How are you feeling Dana?" he asked.

"I got shot," she answered humorlessly "How do you think I feel?"

Munch shook his head at the woman's attitude "Do you know who shot you?" he asked.

Dana sighed "Not a clue," she took a deep breath "I really have to come clean," she whispered.

"Yes," Fin said flatly from the other side of the room "You do."

Dana took a deep breath again "A little over three years ago," she began, trying to keep her voice even "My partner and I were working a case. An underground pornography ring had claimed the lives of three innocent women. The footage turned up everywhere. Just when we thought we'd gotten it all out of circulation, another copy surfaced on some website or in the back room of some sleazy video store," she paused and made as if to reach for the box of tissues on the table beside her bed.

Munch handed them to her "Here," he said softly, willing to let this broken woman take the time to tell her story.

"Thanks," she said as she pulled a tissue from the box and dabbed at her eyes "It was sick stuff," she continued "Those women must have begged for their deaths by the time that they were finished with them," she attempted to stifle a sob and added in a small voice as she reached for another tissue and instead buried her face in her hands "I know I did."

"How did it happen?" Munch asked softly, leaning forward in his seat, his pen poised above the notepad.

"We were in Oregon," she told him "A new tape had just surfaced and we were trying to figure out where it had come from, we thought we were getting close and… we found another body. We split up and went to see if anyone knew the woman," she pulled the blankets on the bed up to try and hide her face, her shame.

"Go on," Munch gently prodded.

"It doesn't matter," she shook her head "The point is that they got me and they kept me for eleven months. When they were done, they beat me mercilessly and dumped me by the side of the road. I survived."

"The papers said you had retrograde amnesia," Munch was skeptical of how this woman who had claimed to have forgotten everything about her months of captivity could suddenly talk so lucidly about it.

"It wasn't just Oregon," she whispered "They're everywhere, in every dark crevasse of society and even in plain site. One of them came into my hospital room when I first woke up. He was a doctor there," she allowed the tears to fall "That first day, he asked me if I wanted to die," she turned her back to the detectives "I should have told him yes."

"But you didn't," Munch laid a hand on her back but quickly withdrew it when she flinched.

"No," she whispered "I chose life and it came with a price," she tried to pull the blankets even tighter, wishing that she could just disappear "I kept my job but I was put on tracking down home grown terrorists. The ring left me alone as long as I kept my silence about Oregon and the eleven months I spent there."

Fin became impatient and although he felt sorry for everything Dana had gone through, he wanted to get to the truth "Who was paying you off?" he asked sharply.

"He wasn't paying me," she protested "I didn't want the money, I didn't want to do what I did. He paid me for a coincidence and a lie."

"Was it someone from the pornography ring?" Munch asked.

"No, he wasn't one of them," Dana responded "I don't know who it was but he deposited the money for me and told me that I had to do this job for him or I might one day find myself back in that basement," she began to shake like a leaf in the wind "I couldn't go back but I did something much worse. I sent someone else."

"Dana, listen to me," Munch spoke firmly but softly as he fought the urge to strangle her for what she had done to Olivia and to Elliot "I need you to tell me what ever you can about him."

Through her tears, Dana nodded. She opened her mouth and was about to speak when suddenly she collapsed onto the bed. The heart monitor and other machines began to beep emphatically. Suddenly the room was filled with frantic doctors and nurses.

"Prep the OR!"

"She's seizing."

Through the commotion, Munch screamed at the motionless woman who lay on the bed "Who was he Dana! Who was he!"

"Sorry detectives," a doctor said as he pushed Munch and Fin aside "We have a job to do."

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"Ladies and gentlemen we have landed in New York City. The local time is 4:30pm. The temperature is sixty one degrees. Enjoy your stay and thank you for flying with us."

Elliot looked down at Olivia who had allowed herself to fall asleep on his shoulder. Occasionally her face would twitch into an expression of pain and Elliot would have to fight the urge to wake her. He didn't want to leave her to her nightmares but at the same time, he knew that she needed her sleep. He placed a gentle kiss to her forehead and shook her gently "Liv," he whispered "We're here, we're home."

She woke with a gasp, shooting straight up in her seat and glancing around wildly. It took her a few seconds to remember where she was "Elliot," her gaze finally landed on him.

"We have to get off the plane now sleepy head," he smiled as he stood up and grabbed their bags from the overhead bin.

She rose from her seat and took her bag from him "Thanks," she smiled at him as he wrapped his arm around her and they walked off the plane. She really didn't mind that he was so close to her. She felt protected and at the moment, that's what she needed. She allowed her head to rest on his shoulder as they walked through the airport. Suddenly a thought occurred to her "Is anyone picking us up?" she asked.

"No need," Elliot smiled as they reached the parking garage "My car's right here." He opened the passenger side door for her and she slid in. He got in the driver's side and started the engine "Where to first?" he asked her.

Olivia thought for a moment. She wanted to go home but her apartment was lonely and for the moment, unfurnished. She wanted to go get her things out of storage but it was too late in the day to do so. She would need to hire a moving van and everything. They could go back to work right away but she had already agreed to take a few days off. She leaned her head back against the headrest "I'm not sure," she admitted.

"My place," he offered simply. He knew that going to her apartment included a lot of other stuff that she probably didn't want to deal with yet. He decided that when they reached his place, he would call Cragen and ask about her apartment and the storage. She had taken very little with her to Oregon and most of her clothes were there as was her furniture and her photographs. She had been instructed only to pack clothes and a toothbrush and she had followed Star's orders to the letter. He wished she hadn't. He wished she had never left in the first place but the past was in the past. All that mattered now was making sure that she was all right.

Olivia nodded "that sounds nice," she said, allowing herself to relax just a little bit.

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The doctor appeared in the doorway, a somber expression on his face. He looked at Munch and Fin and wondered where the woman's family was. He wondered why these detectives were still hanging around. He wondered if they even cared about the woman's fate. He took a step towards them, knowing that when he delivered the news, they wouldn't cry, they probably wouldn't even feel a thing "Detectives," he began softly "I'm sorry but she died on the operating table."

"Damn," Munch muttered. Even that one word reaction surprised the doctor but Munch wasn't upset about Dana, at least not outright. Deep down, Munch did feel a little sad that that poor woman would never get the help she needed but truly he was more upset that she could never tell them who had asked her to do what she did. He turned to Fin "We should go," he told his partner.

Fin nodded and the two of them walked out of the waiting room, leaving the doctor alone, with the exception of the two men in black who nodded to him from behind the curtain.

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"You wanna watch some TV?" Elliot asked as he opened the door to his house and let Olivia inside.

She made her way to the couch and sat down "Sure," she managed a small smile and patted the cushion next to her "Come sit with me."

Elliot willingly obliged. He could call Cragen anytime. Right now he just wanted to spend time with Olivia. He wrapped an arm around her shoulder, pondering whether he should ask the question that had been on the tip of his tongue all day. He hated going an entire week without seeing her and never wanted to go another day without her being near him. He looked down to where she had laid her head on his shoulder and found the courage to ask "Move in with me?"

She looked up at him "What?"

"This house is just so big and lonely," he told her "I was just thinking…" maybe it was too soon to ask. Maybe she wanted to go back to her apartment and be alone.

"I'm not sure Elliot," she told him as she thought about it. She had slept in the same bed with him last night but she didn't think she was ready to share a bed with someone every night. On the other hand, she wanted nothing more than to be close to him.

"You could have the guest bedroom," he was almost begging. He had a powerful urge to be close to her. He never wanted fate to separate them again like it had so many times before "We can get your stuff out of storage and set it up in there. We can be roommates."

She smiled at this thought and kissed him on the lips "Roommates with benefits?" she asked.

"Anything you want," he whispered as his hand became tangled in her hair.

"Sure," Olivia smiled.

"What?" Elliot almost missed what she had just said "Did you just say yes?"

"Technically," she grinned "I said sure but yeah that's a yes. I'll be your roommate Elliot."

**THE END**

**A/N: That's the end of "Finding Olivia" but stay tuned for the sequel "Saving Elliot" it'll take place about a month later. Please review and tell me what you thought of this final chapter.**


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